My SaNcTuArY

Just an update

2011-09-26T13:54:00.000+08:00

Travelling to a foreign country to pursue your futher studies, while leaving behind your loved ones, is a daunting experience. But I realised this only in the first few weeks after my dad left Sydney after he settled me here. Before that I was excited to be going to a new place, as I know it would be the first time I would have to live by myself and depend on no one. Later it became very difficult to the point I was badly depressed and wanted to go back to Singapore.

As weeks went by, as classes started and my schedule began to look filled with activities (some of which I purposefully filled up even though I didn't need them), I got over the depression and I started to normalize things and experiences around me. I think it is natural and everyone goes through this. Frankly speaking, this experience is way better than the prospect of getting married and leaving my house to live with some stranger!!! I prefer this because I can still retain some form of independence, which I don't intend to loose anyway, even if I get married!

The past week has been really horrible, cramming for exams in the last minute. I hope it doesn't happen again and I will make sure I don't go through cramming again! People may think I'm really studious! But I just don't care. I want to be prepared early on! So in the coming weeks, I am going to gradually start studying for the finals, which is like around 6-7 weeks away...

The only thing I really miss is doing my daily prayers and chanting. I try to do, but I can't keep up. This week I am taking the resolution to do chanting and manasa puja (doing a puja through meditation, mentally, by chanting shiva manasa puja). Chanting is really beneficial and I don't want my mind to rot without the rejuvenation I get from chanting! I think it was because of my chanting daily for the past 2 years that has helped me improve my clarity in thinking and organising my thoughts. Not to mention, my improved eyesight!! :)

P.S. If you want to improve your eyesight, do chant Aditya Hrdayam, which is a really powerful hymn praising the Sun Lord. Sun is the presiding deity for the sense of sight. Chant it everyday to see the results, but it will take time. Chant with devotion and faith (pending discovery) :)

(I would) Love to be in Love...

2011-09-16T22:01:00.000+08:00

All of us have our dreams of our future life partner. We have many expectations.

He should be a degree holder.

He should be an engineer.

He should be above 170cm in height.

He should be a Hindu.

He should be a ........

So many expectations....

But when we meet the right person and fall in love, all those expectations just go to the bin.

Such a love is unconditional.

Will I be lucky enough to experience it? :)

I Miss Paper!

2011-09-12T20:40:00.004+08:00

You might be wondering what the post title actually means. Yes, I miss paper! I miss the feel of having a paper in my hands while I read it. It has been ages since I read news from a newspaper. I feel that in my life for the past few years, I have stopped using paper altogether. I have been doing my assignments in word documents as I have to submit softcopies only. I have been reading news from online websites. My social life is extensive mainly because of social networking sites. Otherwise, I would not have as many friends as I have right now on Facebook!

Where is this leading us? What is going to happen in the future if this continues? Are we really progressing towards success or failure? We seem to be moving too fast, we have lost track of whether we are moving in the right direction. I feel that our development is not sustainable.

It is predicted that every year the power of computers keeps doubling. That is an exponential growth, unimaginable! Not only that, the price of that computer will also keep decreasing. Four years ago I bought a dual core Intel processor laptop for $2,500 (it was an amazing laptop that is still working, never once got spoiled!), and 2 months back I bought an Intel core i5 processor laptop for $1,600. Power is greater, but price has decreased. Soon, we will have a computer with the power of the human brain, but only a $1,000 worth! What will happen after that? Will humans become obsolete?

I read an article, 'How the internet makes us stupid'. An excerpt from the article reads,

Greenfield concluded that ''every medium develops some cognitive skills at the expense of others''. Our growing use of screen-based media, she said, has strengthened visual-spatial intelligence, which can strengthen the ability to do jobs that involve keeping track of lots of rapidly changing signals, such as piloting a plane or monitoring a patient during surgery. But that has been accompanied by ''new weaknesses in higher-order cognitive processes'', including ''abstract vocabulary, mindfulness, reflection, inductive problem solving, critical thinking, and imagination''. We're becoming, in a word, shallower.

This article makes me wonder if I have become shallower as well! Because I am quite a heavy user of the internet. If you ask me to categorise my daily activities, the time I spend with internet in front of me would take the majority of the day. Not because I have nothing else better to do. But because my world has been superimposed upon the computer screen! My study materials are there, my friends and family are there, my music is there, my entertainment is there... Everything is here on the internet. I wonder sometimes if I can live without the internet, and I think I can, but not for long! Maybe I can go without internet and computer if there is something else in 'real life' that is taking away all my attention for a length of time. If that is the case, then yes, I can live without the internet.

We have stopped watching TV, and we are instead watching it on the Net. We don't read newspapers, but we read it on the Net. We don't go out for movies these days, we watch it on the Net. It is scaring to think about the future, if this continues. Maybe in the future, we don't have to go to school for education, we can learn everything online! Maybe people might get married online! What else, I wonder?

In Sydney!

2011-08-31T18:32:00.002+08:00

My first post from Sydney. This post signifies that I have settled in well in Sydney and that is how I have the mood to blog! After more than a month's time, first time I feel at 'home' here. It is amazing that I went through this transformation from being excited to depressed and finally attaining normalcy, fairly quickly. Usually it would take people longer. But that doesn't mean that I don't miss home! I do miss all of them a lot! But now, they have become more of a pleasant memory than a longing to be with them.

What I would share to prospective students going to study abroad, away from their home country, would be to only go to a country, in which they know someone, be it a friend or relative, is residing. This has been a great help for me! Especially when this is my first time parting with my family for a long period of time. But the experience is worth it. It is good to be independent, and we have to learn it in a hard way. I feel I've underestimated my ability to leave my friends and family and live away from them, after coming here. But I thank God for having made me get over it soon. Also, thanks for Macquarie University! The workload itself was enough to keep me busy :)

The units I am taking this semester are: Economic Analysis, Quantitative Methods, Principles of Accounting and Business Law. All challenging subjects, but also pretty basic! Econs is interesting, especially for a beginner like me. Although my friends who have studied Econs have no interest in it. QM is basically stats, which I am very familiar with, so no problem there :) Accounting unit is interesting and I've started doing my debits and credits, haha... And finally the Biz Law! Toughest subject of all the units I am taking this Sem. Lots and lots of cases to remember and memorise! Not to mention the legal jargon, having to study about the Australian legal system... Its pretty similar to Singapore, but there are differences too. All in all, the units are interesting, which is what is keeping me go on...

I hope to blog regularly. I wish I can, let's see if time permits me to do so.

My Last Night in Singapore for this year

2011-07-19T01:14:00.000+08:00

The title might seem like as though it is some Last Supper thing. But it is nothing like that at all. It is just that, for the first time in my life, I am leaving my family for a long period of time and going overseas. It is a totally mixed experience of both sadness and the pending happiness and excitement.

I expect to be coming back for vacation only next year, therefore, the title is as such. Because tomorrow night I will be flying aboard A380 somewhere over the Indian ocean. Sadness sets in when the feeling of a loss of physical presence of my loved ones sets in. Although I know that I will still be communicating with them over phone or skype, I feel sad because it is not the same as talking to my mum or dad or sis in person.

However, this sadness will last only for a while, until I set foot in Australia. Home sickness will be there. But I hope the excitement will soon take over.

Today was really memorable because the experience I had when I went to the Sithi Vinayagar Temple today was ecstatic. The moment I entered the Temple, I was so overwhelmed with feelings suddenly and tears were pouring out of my eyes non-stop! I don't know why I had such an experience. Maybe it was because I felt the presence of God and His assurance that He will be there for me always. I was very happy after that. It was The best prayer I ever had in a Temple environment! I will take it as a blessing offered to me by the God.

I will keep blogging, I hope. For friends who will be missing me, and who will also be missed a lot, I will always keep in touch online. My online presence will always be there no matter where I am in this world :)

Bye and Wish Me Luck Dear Friends!! :) Sydney... Here I come :)

Saying goodbye is tough

2011-07-06T02:24:00.000+08:00

Parting from family and friends is difficult. Its going to be a very tough two weeks for me as I say goodbyes to people near and dear to me. Granted that I will come back after six months, it still feels really hard to say goodbye. There is this gnawing feeling deep in my heart that things are changing and will never be the same again.

Saying goodbye has also taught me how much I have taken my friends and family for granted. For the past 24 years they were with me, I never once longed for them. But now when I think of parting away from them, it really makes me realize this truth. It also makes me feel a little handicapped. I hope I can say a proper goodbye and after all, I'll be back in January... :)

Macquarie University - Flying in July :)

2011-07-01T00:32:00.000+08:00

The more I get to know about Macquarie University and Sydney, the more I am excited about going to Australia! It is simply amazing that such a dramatic change is happening in my life at this point of time. Two months ago, I was nowhere in life. Now I am at least somewhere. I am glad I am not undecided about my future, and that is a feeling I don't want anyone to feel. It is the most confusing point of time in your life, that moment when you simply don't know what to do in your life. But the moment you come out of this feeling and face the world with a hard-built conviction to follow a particular path you like very much, that is the moment you don't want to forget.

I am glad to have chosen Macquarie University. It is an amazing place and a pretty good university in Australia (ranked 9th). Its business faculty is way better than the one in University of Sydney. I got offers from both the universities but I chose Macquarie because of this reason alone. Also because of the cost, USYD was charging way too much for the tuition fees. Macquarie was okay for us.

After the offer arrived from MQ, everything else happened very quickly. I got my student visa within a week. I got my accommodation too within a week. That was real fast actually. This is cool... I feel very excited to go to Sydney. From what I saw on google map, it looks like an amazing place, calm and full of greenery. The climate too is not really extreme, it is a temperate climate. But I heard that July is its coldest month. And that is another thing about Australia. Their summer is December to February actually...

This is what my room might look like (but I will post actual pictures once I reach Sydney).

Amazing right? I got the East side apartment in the Macquarie University Village. I might be checking in there on the 20th or 21st of July. That means I will be leaving Singapore on the 19th of July. The prospect of leaving my family and everything else dear to me is daunting. But at the same time, the thought and the possibility of coming back to Singapore next year in January for a month is comforting. Not to mention the technology that has shrunk the world. My best friend in Sydney is going to be Skype...

2011-06-30T00:21:00.000+08:00

Some people have a lot of time in their hands and they spend those times to chat endlessly, without realizing that time is flying. I am not talking about friends chatting with the friends they know and meet in person. I am talking about people who chat with strangers on the web. This is such a temptation at first to chat with people, anyone is ok to chat with, as long as they are of the opposite sex!

I too have had such a temptation to chat with strangers and I have logged into some online chat forums, met some people on social networking sites and added them on google chat, etc. It was nice to have an online friend. But out of the 10 friends I made online, only two or three of them I still keep in touch with. Having such online friends have also come in handy at times. One of my online friends is staying in Sydney where I will be going to in July for further studies. So this has actually benefited me as I have someone I know living in Sydney (FYI: It is a woman, happily married with two kids.).

All this is on one side of the online friends world. But then there is another side for the internet chatting world, and it is pretty dangerous. Some of the extreme cases have ended up in crimes committed. Some of the normal cases have ended up in a guilty conscience. Why take such risks when you know there is so much at stake? Meeting a person online is different from having to meet them in person!

I usually go to this site to watch drama series online. In that blog site, they have a live chat room widget and anyone can use it to chat with the people viewing the site. It was really funny to watch two strangers saying "hi" to each other and asking "how r u?" so caringly as if they both know each other for a long time in their lives! And the guys only talk to the girls and vice versa!

Take a look at this print screen of a chat I was observing while I visited the site. Initially this woman was talking with a guy called "Sekar", after which he left. Then came along another guy called "har".

Gosh! This is what is happening all over!! I couldn't stand it one day when things went out of hand in a public forum site. I and a few others interfered and chased away some people who were creating the rackus! This is where our world is heading to... Hell!

2011-06-23T02:03:00.000+08:00

There are some secrets that are best if remained as secrets. Once they are out, your whole outlook in life changes. Many times this week I've felt like this world is going nowhere good. This feeling has not decreased but keeps increasing everyday.

First time in my life, I don't feel proud at all. I feel deeply disgusted. My whole body is shrivelling with shame. It is not a nice feeling to hear such blatant truths about a person whom you have respected all along in your life. It is simply disgusting!! I hope that person gets what he deserves!!

Sri Lanka's Killing Field

2011-06-21T15:18:00.000+08:00

It would be the end of the world as we know it. That is what it feels like when we come to know about the Sri Lanka's civil war. It happened in 2009 but we only get to know the full picture now. It is very disturbing and heart wrenching. Just by watching the video footages of the sufferings of the Tamils, makes me cry. If I can feel like that, imagine what must be going on in the minds of the people directly affected by it.

The government has conducted an unjust war and have caused many civilian casualties to result. Nobody is ready to take the blame. Nobody is ready to admit that they have been unjust. Nobody is ready to apologise sincerely. The government people had been cunning and have deviously planned the "genocide". They supposedly announced a "no-fire zone", made the Tamils move to that area, and then started shelling that place! This is atrocious!

There are many allegations on the Sri Lankan government. This was what BBC had to say:

"Killing of civilians through widespread shelling; (ii) Shelling of hospitals and humanitarian objects; (iii) Denial of humanitarian assistance; (iv) Human rights violations suffered by victims and survivors of the conflict, including both IDPs and suspected LTTE cadre; and (v) Human rights violations outside the conflict zone, including against the media and other critics of the Government," the report said.

The news article further goes on to say that, "The UNHRC's attempts to pass a resolution against Sri Lanka have been unsuccessful after Sri Lanka lobbied the support from India, China and Russia among others." It is really saddening that India is going along with the way the civil war was conducted and ended. There might be really good reasons to kill the LTTE, I do not know fully about it. But killing innocent civilians is just not the way to do it!

I sincerely pray for the Tamils who are left alive in Sri Lanka, that they live a better life at least from now on! Let this war end and let humanity win. There is not even an ounce of compassion left in this world, I think. Man, we are the worst species in this world!! We eat up the world, we heat up the world, we put a hole in the ozone, we cut down oxygen-giving trees, we burn lots of fuels, we have basically emptied the earth of most of its fossil fuels! The other species do none of these! But we do. We don't need the God to come back on the judgement day. We ourselves will will lead this world to destruction!

There is no point in setting out to reform the world, because it will never get reformed. If you do set out to "change the world", then you must go to Jupiter only. The best way to bring change in this world is to change yourself first. I believe strongly in this. We have the power to change the world by changing ourselves for the better. Lets just do our prescribed duties, including charity. We shall pray and help the world as much as we can and hope for the best in the future. Let us all be peace-loving people.

Sarveshaam svastir bhavatu; Sarveshaam shaantir bhavatu; Sarveshaam purnam bhavatu; Sarveshaam mangalam bhavatu; Sarve bhavantu sukhinah; Sarve santu niraamayaa' Sarve bhadraani pashyantu; Maa kashcid duhkha bhaag bhavet; Om Shaanti Shaanti Shaanti;

May auspiciousness be unto all
May peace be unto all
May fullness be unto all
May prosperity be unto all
May all be happy
May all be free from disabilities
May all behold what is auspicious
May none suffer from sorrow
Om Peace(within) Peace(environment) Peace(universe)

Free Will? Destiny?

2011-06-20T23:49:00.001+08:00

The idea of destiny working to bring you to a particular place at a particular time is really amazing. Although at first thought it seems like impossible, one's experience itself teaches one that there is such a thing as fate/destiny/something that is pre-determined. It is beautiful and yet scary too.

From the moment we are born, the environment we grow up in determines our circle of free will. This circle of free will is as big as the amount of knowledge we acquire about the different choices in life. If lets say in all the colours we only know about yellow, red, blue and green, then our choice is limited to only these four colours. Whereas the more colours we know the more choices we have. Therefore, there is always a limit to the circle of free will we have. Most of the time our circle of free will is pre-determined by the limitations in the environment we grow up in. Therefore, free will is really a misnomer!

Such being the case, our choices in life are really pre-determined. It "seems" as though we are making a choice out of our free will, but our choices itself are limited in a certain way. Many things we do in our lives, our likes and dislikes, our temperament, our natural tendencies have all been pre-determined. Nothing can really happen with our own choice. We cannot even determine when we will fall asleep. All we can do is ready the bed and lie on it. Sleep will come but we cannot control when and how it comes. Such is our life. Life is nothing but realizing this grand truth, that things are not always in our hands or in our control!

This idea, which at first seemed very romantic and beautiful, now seems to be daunting. It makes us think that we cannot change our future at all. Though our choices are limited and pre-determined, we still have that "free will" with which we can still make a choice between what is good and bad or right and wrong! But many times we are pushed to make a choice that is agreeable to all, but not in alignment with our innate temperament or nature. For example, a woman whose talent and interest lies in dancing has to "choose" to forego her dream in completing a degree in fine arts in order to attain a degree in engineering. A degree in engineering will "secure" her future compared to a degree in fine arts which will not yield financially. Now where is the choice in that? Seems like something pre-determined right?

Krishna in Bhagavad Gita says in Chapter 2, Verse 47: You have the right to perform your actions but not to the results of your actions. How very true! This verse does not tell you that you should not expect any results at all. It only tells you that the results cannot be influenced by you. This is just like sleeping. You can only make your bed and lie on it. The result (i.e. sleeping) is not in your control. You cannot say that 10 seconds from the moment you lie on your bed you will fall asleep with certainty. The result is not in our hands. But the action is.

New insight in life...

2011-02-25T01:22:00.001+08:00

Great things in life always fall in place and that is what gives real happiness for all of us. When the things we desire after, happen without us asking it, that is the greatest happiness feeling one will ever feel.

Some of you guys know that I love designing and have done many posters, a few logos and stuff... I never knew I had love for designing when I got into NUS. If I had known earlier, I might have taken an art degree. The more I get into science, the more I feel I am best suited to the Arts... Lol!

So right now, I came to know about a Diploma course in Communication Design. This opportunity came to me on its own! I was very surprised that this course matched my interests exactly! I had a long conversation session with the marketing executive from the Chatsworth Medi@art Academy, and found myself getting attracted to it..... :) The fee too seemed reasonable. But I have now decided to cool it off till I get a job, because then after that I can finance myself for this Diploma. It amounts to around $645 per month. Should be enough even if I were to just give tuitions....

This happened together with another incident, when Mr K told me that he can get me started on a small level business with my knowledge in graphic designing. He told me it would be better if only I had some professional training in this area.

It surprised me that these two events happened together, one after the other, and made me think probably its meant to be... These two incidents ignited a small fire inside me. This fire has started to show some sparks regarding setting up a small scale freelance business. But my parents are not open about it.

I then realized that I am too old for getting permissions from my parents. I have to step up and take my own decisions in life if I were to make something out of it. By my age, my mum had already gotten married and given birth to me, my dad had moved to Bangalore alone and supported all of us with a meager income. I am their daughter. I too have the same temperament with regards to this. If I don't, then I should cultivate it at least.

So I've decided to go ahead with the Diploma, but only after I find myself at least a part-time job, which has a reasonable salary prospects and slightly related to my degree in Life Sciences.

With regards to my spiritual journey, many things have happened. I just started a new class with Mr K as our teacher. He is teaching us a wonderful text called "Sadhana Pancakam". It is very direct to the point and a good guidance for a spiritual aspirant like me. Basically it means "5 verses of practices". This is my first lesson as a person desiring after moksha (mumukshu).

2 years ago or even a few months ago, I would not have declared my life goal openly like this in a blog. But I declare it here and now, that my life goal is to attain moksha. Moksha here meaning, the realization that there is nothing but the eternal reality. In other words, that I am God. However, before I get there, I need to condition my mind to be one-pointed in focus and remove the nuisances and obstacles present in my mind. Thus, a class like "Sadhana Pancakam" is a great tonic for me.

People might think that I have become a samiyar, but oh well. It is their problem! People might assume that I am trying to curb my desires. People might also think that I am not gonna marry and have kids. People might think that I am gonna repress or control my emotions and devote my life to praying, meditating and fasting... If you are one of these people, then sorry.. You are up for a big disappointment. :)

I will be doing everything what others also do, but with a different attitude. A few additions in my life right now will be my sadhanas (practices) such as 10 minute meditation, japa meditation (the one you do with 108 beads), chanting sanskrit shlokas, studying a text, and so on.

I think this will come as a new information for my friends, but it is better that I state my intentions clearly. Enjoyment is always there in my life. But I don't hanker for it, and neither will I miss it if it is gone. Some differences might arise between friends. What you value very much (like cricket, or particular clothes) might mean nothing to me. What I value, you might not relate to it at all... I don't want my friends to wonder what is wrong with me. So if they observe such things now, they know why it is so... :)

Doing service is my duty

2011-01-31T02:15:00.001+08:00

This is what happens when you neglect your swadharma (your required duty as per your role in life) and do rituals like Maha Rudra Yaagam.

http://www.tamilnet.com/art.html?catid=13&artid=33467

Someone once asked this question in my Hinduism Teacher Training class. Why offer so many valuable things and food in the sacrificial fire of a yajna (a sacrifice ritual), when many in the world around us are suffering without food or water?

The answer is this. One of your prime duties is to do daana (meaning service to others). You have to do it everyday. This can be anything from helping a old lady in the street to donating millions of dollars to an orphanage; volunteer work to organizing benefits, etc. If you do it everyday, you will be guilt-free. When you are guilt-free, you can peacefully conduct a sacrificial ritual or yajna. Only a guilty mind will ask the above question. Moreover, rituals you do only once in a while. Whereas, service is to be done everyday. So one can be assured of a guilt-free life if service/charity is done everyday...

Quarter life crisis?

2011-01-14T23:39:00.001+08:00

For the first time in my life, I've come in touch with my inner most fears. It is a relief after I've confronted them. I've realized that my worst fear in life is to end up being a useless, pathetic person being hated by everyone in life. Depression and fear of rejection are the others. And of course, small crawling and flying insects, no matter what size they are!

Another fear I have to encounter is the fear of ending up with a wrong life partner, with whom I have to tolerate and at the end divorce and move away from. I used to have a great time in secondary school, JC and even Uni. Now I feel that maybe I've peaked too early in life and there is nothing more to expect from life anymore. Am I having a quarter life crisis???

Will I find the job I want? Will I be successful in getting that job? Will I ever find a good-looking guy with a gorgeous character? Will I get to have him as my life partner? Will I be happy? Will I be able to achieve my goals in life? So many questions in my mind, actually made me have my headache today. Not the normal headache that everyone gets, but a high blood pressure headache!! :(

I guess I'm normal because I'm sure everybody else has these same questions in mind. Unless that person already has a job and a girlfriend/boyfriend. I am fearful also of falling into this routine of going after one object after another. Just keep on chasing one thing after another until I find something that gives me permanent happiness, while I already know what will give me the permanent happiness I seek for.

No matter what I achieve in life, be it a great career, a great husband, a great family, a great-anything, I know I will still have to face some downside to it because I will still be fearful of retaining all these great things. The fear of losing them will always lurk in the corner of my mind, not allowing me to enjoy all these fully. Everything good and bad has a beginning and an end. This is life. I have to now live intelligently with it so that I don't get caught up in this great cycle of happiness and sorrow.

I felt like voicing out all these personal concerns I have in my blog because I will come back and read it one day in the future. It is for my own reference. Although, of course, you get to read it. I don't care. There is no such thing as privacy nowadays, I've stopped believing in such things. I don't want to be the person who pretends to be like everything is fine/great in my life, while inside I keep thinking of everything negative about myself. By voicing them out, I feel much relieved. More than what I felt after I myself confronted these fears in me. Knowing is the first step in every problem-solving.

Enthiran - Robots have feelings?

2010-11-20T15:32:00.000+08:00

A few weeks back I had gone out with my parents to watch Enthiran. The movie was, of course, really wonderful, fantastic and excellent in all aspects! At first the concept that a humanoid has feelings boggled me. I simply couldn't come to accept it but since it was just a movie, I didn't really care about it.

Although now, thinking about it makes me realize that it is possible. For this, I started thinking of how do feelings arise. How do feelings come about? A machine only has knowledge stored in its memory. It has a "brain" that consists of intellect, memory and the questioning capability (meaning it is able to learn from experience). What is this brain made of? It is nothing but wires, connections and electrical impulses flowing through the machine that makes it move and so on.

Now looking at the human brain, it also has memory, intellect, the questioning/learning capability AND one more thing: ego. This ego is the notion of "I"-ness. A robot may not have the awareness of "I", meaning itself. But we humans have this self-awareness. We look at things and objects around us and are able to say, "this watch is mine" or "this is my hair". But a robot does not do this. The robot does not have ego.

However, somehow this ego is born in this robot called Chitti when it starts to recognize something or someone as belonging to him. Chitti starts to identify certain things as belonging to him and therefore, desires start arising in him.

When the notion of "I" is born, desires arise. It is very natural for all of us. And once desires arise, emotions take place too. When you acquire a desired object, you are happy. When someone else gets it instead of you, you are jealous. When someone or something is an obstacle between you and the desired object you are angry. When you lose the desired object, you are sad. So now we can see clearly, that when desires arise in us, so do the emotions.

Since our brain is also nothing but neurons (in place of wires) with connections and electrical impulses (just like the robot's "brain"), it is also possible for humanoids to have emotions and the notion of "I".

One wonderful movie that portrays whatever has been discussed in this post is "I Robot". It is a wonderful movie and I personally like it more than Enthiran.

Tapping on the Unknown Factor

2010-11-05T12:40:00.000+08:00

It has been so long since I've made a post in this blog. Therefore, I would like to start today, especially when it is such an auspicious day like Deepavali. There are many stories behind Deepavali. The general theme of them all, however, is the inevitable victory of good over evil. This assumes that there are two opposing poles called good and evil. This is a wrong assumption because evil is just the absence of goodness. So in essence, there is only goodness, but when it is absent in someone or something, we call it evil.

There is a wonderful short story I came across from one of my friend's email. It says:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil (Adharmic) - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good (Dharmic)- It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Therefore, victory of good over evil simply means the victory of Dharma over Adharma. By deeply analysing the above story for just today, just for a few minutes, let us all try to recognise the "evil" in us, and let us try to uproot it. Let us make a promise to ourselves today that by the next Deepavali I would try to conquer one of my "evil" qualities. Be it anger, jealousy, false pride or laziness. Anything. Let us make this promise quietly to ourselves and change ourselves for better. If there is no "evil" in you, then let us try to cultivate one of the good values like truth, generosity, compassion or humility.

The one who protects Dharma, that Dharma will protect him. The equation works like this. When you protect Dharma, meaning when you do Dharmic actions, you earn merits or punya. More punya can counter the sins or paapa you gathered so far. So during dire times, the punya that you have earned by doing Dharmic actions will save you. This is what it means by "dharmo rakshati rakshata".

Such being the value of Deepavali festival, I hope you now realize that you can actually wish anyone a Happy Deepavali, be it someone of another race, religion or nationality. This is because the value of this festival applies to everyone. And as we celebrate the festival today with our family in any way possible, just remember Ishwara who is the reason behind all your happiness. Pray to Him, get His blessings and live Happily! :)

A small dream came true today! :)

2010-10-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

I love dogs! Many times I've not had any opportunity of playing and spending time with dogs. However, today I had that opportunity. I visited my friend's house and she had three cute boys: Burny, Skye and Coozer... Two golden retrievers and a labrador... So cute! I loved the time spent with them. They were all friendly dogs!!! :)

Must Read Book - Demolishing Christianity

2010-08-16T12:53:00.000+08:00

A wonderful critique of Christianity written by a learned Hindu, Chattampi Swamigal:

http://bharateeya.wordpress.com/2009/08/05/kristumata-chedanam-chattampi-swamikal-english-translation/

After reading this critique, so filled with logic and excellent reasoning, Christianity no longer seems like a sane religion to me. It is filled with such illogical concepts, that every paragraph of this book made me laugh out loud!

Hindus are said to be very tolerant and respectful towards other faiths. We don't attack them at all. However, when they attack Hinduism we also don't defend ourselves. Such losers we are!

A real and sincere Hindu will always defend his/her Sanatana Dharma. On of our primary duties is to speak the truth. When the truth is being attacked and falsified by other faiths, it is our duty to defend that truth and speak the truth always. That is what Chattampi Swamikal did in this book of Kristumata Chedanam (literally means "Demolishing Christianity"). A sincere Hindu knows that Sanatana Dharma always existed even before the Vedas were revealed to humankind. Just like how gravity always existed, even before its discovery by Isaac Newton.

Be equipped with knowledge! Don't remain ignorant!

A Church Bans Yoga!

2010-07-30T18:36:00.000+08:00

Here's the news article that is of the title of this post.

This news is ridiculous, but the fact is that people of the Christian faith, especially those in the position of maintaining the order of the Church, are very afraid that their religion will be taken over, stampeded upon or thrashed down by another rival religion. Why are they so afraid, if what they have in their religion is solid? How can there be any room for confusion, by just doing some simple spiritual exercise like Yoga?

'Confessions' of a vegetarian

2010-07-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

For the past two years or so, everyone of my friends and family members know that I was a vegetarian. Yes, you've read correctly. I used the past tense. I was a vegetarian. I do owe an explanation as to why I reverted to non-vegetarian diet because many of my closest friends still don't know.

I converted to vegetarian diet mainly because of health reasons. And for the same health reasons I've converted back to non-vegetarian. My being vegetarian did help me a lot. It helped me to control my cravings for chicken and fish. I used to only eat chicken and fish to a small extent, and that too only those that were home-cooked. I don't like mutton, neither am I a fan of other meat varieties. Therefore, it wasn't really a big leap for me to convert to veg. The journey was alright, although I did have some difficulties finding for food. I was still eating egg, and that saved me a little.

Still, I had some surprised non-veg friends and family members. They got used to me eating only veg. It helped me spiritually to a certain extent as well, as I am a spiritual person as well.

After a while, starting this year, I had started to experience iron deficiency. Moreover, my periods were becoming very irregular. I had no other reason to fall back on, except for the iron deficiency. Therefore, I had to revert to non-veg. It was not an abrupt reversion. It was slow, starting with fish, and then chicken made at home.

I feel good right now, because the difficulty of finding veg food for me is gone. My family and friends are happy. I am also not craving for chicken or fish whenever I go out. I wasn't fussy when I was a veg. Neither am I now. I go out without worrying whether I will get veg food. I am alright with either kind. And that is what I want to be like. Dependent on nothing.

An excerpt from Angels & Demons

2010-07-15T01:01:00.002+08:00

An excerpt from Dan Brown's Angels & Demons:

As Langdon moved toward the first recess, he passed the tomb of one of Italy's Catholic kings. The sarcophagus, like many in Rome, was askew with the wall, positioned awkwardly. A group of visitors seemed confused by this. Langdon did not stop to explain. Formal Christian tombs were often misaligned with the architecture so they could lie facing east. It was an ancient superstition that Langdon's Symbology 212 class had discussed just last month.

"That's totally incongruous!" a female student in the front had blurted when Langdon explained the reason for east-facing tombs. "Why would Christians want their tombs to face the rising sun? We're talking about Christianity... not sun worship!"

Langdon smiles, pacing before the blackboard, chewing an apple. "Mr Hitzrot!" he shouted.

A young man dozing in back sat up with a start. "What! Me?"

Langdon pointed to a Renaissance art poster on the wall. "Who is that man kneeling before God?"

"Um... some saint?"

"Brilliant. And how do you know he's a saint?"

"He's got a halo?"

"Excellent, and does that golden halo remind you of anything?"

Hitzrot broke into a smile. "Yeah! Those Egyptian things we studied last term. Those... um... sun disks!"

"Thank you, Hitzrot. Go back to sleep." Langdon turned back to the class. "Halos, like much of Christian symbology, were borrowed from the ancient Egyptian religion of sun workship. Christianity is filled with examples of sun worship."

"Excuse me?" the girl in the front said. "I go to Church all the time, and I don't see much sun worshipping going on!"

"Really? What do you celebrate on December twenty-fifth?"

"Christmas. The birth of Jesus Christ."

"And yet according to the Bible, Christ was born in March, so what are we doing celebrating in late December?"

Silence.

Langdon smiles. "December twenty-fifth, my friends, is the ancient pagan holiday of sol invictus - Unconquered Sun - coinciding with the winter solstice. Its that wonderful time of year when the sun returns, and the days start getting longer."

Langdon took another bite of apple.

"Conquering religions," he continued, "often adopt existing holidays to make conversion less shocking. It's called transmutation. It helpes people acclimatize to the new faith. Worshipers keep the same holy dates, pray in the same sacred locations, use a similar symbology... and they simply substitute a different god."

Now the girl in the front looked furious. "You're implying Christianity is just some kind of... repackaged sun worship!"

"Not at all. Christianity did not borrow only from the sun worship. The ritual of Christian canonization is taken from the ancient 'god-making' rite of Euhemerus. The practice of 'god-eating' - that is, Holy Communion - was borrowed from the Aztecs. Even the concept of Christ dying for our sins is arguably not exclusively Christian; the self-sacrifice of a young man to absolve the sins of his people appears in the earliest tradition of the Quetzalcoatl."

The girl glared. "So, is anything in Christianity original?"

"Very little in any organized faith is truly original. Religions are not born from scratch. They grow from one another. Modern religion is a collage... an assimilated historical record of man's quest to understand the divine.

"Um... hold on," Hitzrot ventures, sounding awake now. "I know something Christina that's original. How about our image of God? Christian art never portrays God as the hawk sun god, or as an Aztec, or as anything weird. It always shows God as an old man with a white beard. So our image of God is original, right?

Langdon smiled. "When the early Christian converts abandoned their former deities - pagan gods, Roman gods, GReek, sun, Mithraic, whatever - they asked the church what their new Christian God looked like. Wisely, the church chose the most feared, powerful... and familiar face in all of recorded history."

Hitzrot looked skeptical. "An old man with a white, flowing beard?"

Langdon pointed to a heirarchy of ancient gods on the wall. At the top sat an old man with a white, flowing beard. "Does Zeus look familiar?"

The class ended right on cue.

I love this excerpt. I don't know how much of it is true. But still, it proves two things for me.

(1) Christianity is man-made and therefore, the post of "God" has been imposed upon. It has been transmuted to suit the converts' requirements and acceptance of Christianity and nothing else.

(2) Christianity too gives some form of importance to image of God and so on. It is not only the Hindus who worship images. So they have no right to point fingers.

Imagine how opposite Hinduism is. I am clearly being biased here, or so you might think. However, any logical person would arrive at the conclusion that Hinduism, unlike Christianity, had never changed its fundamental precepts to suit the needs of the converts. It has been sincere through and through. Unlike Christianity, Islam or Judaism, God in Hinduism has never been seen as being separated from the Universe that was created by God. Indeed, everything is God, the Universe is God, the energy that holds everything together is indeed God. Hinduism is simply brilliant.

I am fascinated with Hinduism because it made me see the world as it is, with the things we superimpose upon it.

A Tribute to NUS...

2010-07-13T00:23:00.000+08:00

Wow... I never thought this day would come this fast! On 10th July 2010, Saturday, at 10am in NUS UCC was my Commencement Ceremony. I am now officially graduated from NUS, with a Bachelors Degree in Life Sciences, Pass with merit. So I guess its the end of the journey? Apparently not, according to a lot of people. It is the commencement of a new chapter in your life.

But I see it as an end to my joyful days in life. Friends have all scattered off and gone in different directions, becoming busy in their own lives. Have to get a job, have to get a house, have to get married, etc, etc... Life moves on, in different directions though. I don't know if I will ever meet some of my friends after that evening. And if I do, then I know for sure that those friends will be with me for long!

I don't know how all those times went by. Everything seemed like it just started yesterday. I simply loved my time in NUS, especially the parts I spent with my friends. Not the stressful times in exam halls and labs! I really will miss them all. But at this point of time, I really have to thank my friends for making it a wonderful time in NUS! I thank Kasturi, Chanta, Mathu, Jayu, most of all!! I know we girls will stick together for a long time to come! Thanks for being there for me always! :) I love you all!!!

I have a lot of people to thank. But none of them will be reading this blog though. So I am only thanking people who will be reading this post :) I had a wonderful 3 years of my life! Thanks girls! :)

Ballerina is spinning..... which way?

2010-07-12T00:34:00.001+08:00

If you see the girl turning clockwise, your right hemisphere dominates:

So if this is you, then you are highly creative, you use your imagination, feelings and perception of space, you are sensitive to symbols and images, you enjoy exploring the future and thinking philosophically…

If you see the girl turning anti clockwise, you use your left hemisphere:

And if this is you, then you are a logical thinker, you rely on realism, words and language. you are attracted by maths and science, knowledge, and specifics...

If you manage to see it turning in the both directions:

You are both a left-brainer and a right-brainer. But the first direction you see in the ballerina is what you predominantly are. You can try to change the direction of the ballerina spinning though. I did it the first time, was difficult. But it comes easily with practice. :)

Addicted to the Internet + Tyra Show Link

2010-07-05T18:44:00.006+08:00

I usually wonder sometimes if I am addicted to the internet. I seem to be spending a lot of time sitting glued to the laptop than go out and have some good time elsewhere. But for the whole of the weekend, I didn't sit glued to my laptop all the time. Some times I do get out of my room and do something else at home. But still when I get back to my room, the first thing I do is on my laptop.

Not only then, the first thing I do when I wake up every morning is to on my laptop. It has become like an automated habit of mine, just like brushing your teeth and showering in the morning. I am also happy whenever I come online, after spending a long time doing something else. So am I addicted?

Then I further thought about this... I like youtube-ing, facebook-ing, blogging, and sometimes watching movies online too. This is all I do. And yet, I feel like I got addicted to the net, and I wonder if I would ever be able to live without the computer... It also makes me wonder if this is good or bad.

My sister is forever glued to her laptop. After observing her, I wouldn't want to do the same to my child in the future. I want my child to be more sociable and closer to the family, also doing his/her best in studies. Not sitting in front of the laptop, forever on the internet. God only knows what he/she is vulnerable to on the net! There are both good and bad things online!!

Many out there today, especially teenagers, are badly addicted to the internet. This was where I found out more about it. Take a look:

Do watch this and the following 4 more parts of it. Interesting show! :)

Raavanan below par?

2010-07-01T01:41:00.000+08:00

It is amazing that films like Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya, Ayirathil Oruvan, Raavanan, etc. never make it above par in any part of India. Exactly what is wrong with such films? Yes, its true that when you first watch these films, you go like, 'what the..?' But when you think deeper of it, many new attempts have been made in various aspects of movie-making. The imagination, the art, the screenplay, the cinematography, and so on. Many attempts are being made to improve Tamil Film Industry and its decomposing standards.

But the story is totally different when it comes to people's opinions. They have already been 'conditioned' to like cheesy, commercial films like Sura, Villu, Singam, etc. that have nothing new in it, are heavily stereotyped, and commercialised to sell like hot cakes! Then it is 'of course' that people prefer these kinda films as compared to 'art movies' like those stated in the beginning of this post.

Just imagine the kind of hard work, imagination, creativity and dedication that has gone into making Raavanan. Would any film director of these commercial movies (I don't even know their names!) be able to take such a story like Raavanan's and picturise it so beautifully?? Even though the story is something that we know of, you would be surprised of how many people (let alone Indians!) have no clue as to what Ramayana is all about!! It takes talent, imagination, creativity, and a gifted vision to make such a movie possible.

It is true that Oscar-winning movies are never really most-watched before it wins an Oscar, but after it does, MANY people watch it and it suddenly becomes the most-watched movie! It seems that people like to stick with what others like, and are never really bold enough to form their own opinions and views, no matter how diametrically opposed they are to that which the society deems as right. What a sad case!

So here is it... I like movies that I mentioned above, and to top it up, I like Eeram, Yaavarum Nalam, etc. etc. Any movie that doesn't belong to the category of commercial entertainers... These movies stand in my mind longer than the commercial ones, which I do watch also, but the instant I leave the theatre or finish watching the movie, I forget about it. Those movies are only 3-hours of pure entertainment, nothing more. Something like a one-night-stand versus a long-term relationship!!

Just feeling like...

2010-07-01T00:41:00.000+08:00

... I want to become nothing... go into nothingness... I don't want to feel anything... I don't want to think anything... I don't want to know anything... I don't want to do anything!

I wish I could just jump down and drown in my own world, in my own dreams, and never come back to reality. It sucks!

Thank God I have a little fear for heights. Thank God there is no river nearby my house. Otherwise, I would have jumped down into any one of them, whenever I think about nothing in life giving you the happiness you need...

I know I am not the only one who's feeling this. I wouldn't even be feeling like this, if I were a poverty-stricken person like in Africa or India. I would have more pressing matters in my mind than to think of how uneventful life is...

I wish I know how to be free of all the shackles in life...........

Raavanan? :)

2010-06-24T19:03:00.000+08:00

I might just have sat down in front of this laptop, wanting to write a post on the new movie Raavanan which I watched yesterday. But then, I found that there is no point to say something that has already been told by others! :)

I found the cinematography wonderful! Music was awesome! Vikram stole the show! Aish was lovely! Period.

Wish You A Very...

2010-06-23T15:13:00.000+08:00

I feel so so so so so so so lucky that I am born and have been brought up in this way, with great friends around me... I hope it would last for a little longer :) I just don't know how to express my gratitude. But I know that the only way to express this gratitude is by making others I love feel lucky that they have me around.

... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR MOM!!

Fake Swamis and Cults

2010-06-14T19:06:00.001+08:00

This is a random podcast, made in Tamil, but I thought this fit well in this heading of Clearing The Clouds, so I am posting it here, instead of under the Random section that I am yet to create. This podcast discusses about fake swamis and cults, deriving the topic from a recent Neeya Naana episode on a similar topic.

Download link is here (Right Click and Save Target As).

This is the link if you wish to watch the Neeya Naana episode:
www.thamil.org/tv_shows/?m=view&vid=21346

The two links mentioned in the podcast are these:
1st link: www.dhyanapeetam.org/web/default.aspx
2nd link: www.shrikavalemath.org.in/default.htm

Music is from Madharasapattinam movie.

I hope you like this podcast, and please provide your comments and suggestions. Thanks!

2010-06-03T00:53:00.001+08:00

यह प्यार एक ऐसा जस्बात है

जिस से रिश्तों का मौथाज बन न पडता

Unpaid labour

2010-06-01T21:02:00.001+08:00

As I am writing this post, I am making a mental note to inform you that I am a liberal feminist, and therefore believe that the notion of gender is a socially constructed one. I believe that men and women are equal but have been constructed mentally to believe that men are stronger, smarter than women or that women are more sensitive, emotional than men. If this were absolutely true, then there would be no exceptions to this rule, and yet there are.

So having said my point, now I will come to the matter that has been bugging me. Well, not really bugging me but I've been thinking about it. It seemed really unfair when I came across with this statement that said that men contribute mostly to the economy, men's contributions to this and to that, etc. It seems unfair because, to think about it (as the phrase goes), 'behind every man there is a woman' helping him achieve that contribution... Be it a mother, wife, sister or aunt. Anyone!

Why is it they are 'behind' the man? Shouldn't it be beside the man? Is it always about the man? The son? The husband? If they never have had any women 'behind' then, they wouldn't have contributed this much to the economy in the first place. Women are, in short, doing unpaid labour. And it is not mostly labour of love, but of slavery, sorry to say. They are slaves to their own low self-esteems.

But I wouldn't say the same for the females today. I think they are actually more arrogant than men in some aspects. My belief is that, if the man is a really good person, then doing all the household work for him, cooking for him, cleaning for him, would become a labour of love. But if the man is arrogant, egoistic, and conceited, then I say dish the labour and be more selfish! However, today the females are dishing their labour even when the man is really good.

And would it kill the guys to learn some cooking? I think the age of shared house-keeping is here as both the spouses are going to work... I am sick and tired of hearing and watching people constantly bickering about this.

Random...

2010-05-31T20:39:00.001+08:00

I don't make it a point to comment about movies extensively. Neither am I going to do this for this post. But I just want to say something here. Please go watch Neninthe telugu movie on youtube, which comes with subtitles in english.

It is a movie about cinema. It actually made me re-think my pre-conceived notions I had on cinema. A good movie overall.

On the side note, I can't wait to go to my new house!! :) Sigh...

एहसास

2010-05-25T22:06:00.002+08:00

इतने पास फिर भी इतनी दूर

इतना स्पष्ट फिर भी इतना कलंक

कैसे बताऊँ मैं

इस एहसास का मतलब?

ऐसा चमत्कार मेरे ज़िन्दगी में आया

मेरे मन का अँधेरा को साफ़ किया

अरे मोरा कान्हा!

सिर्फ आप है इसके कारण!

हे गोविंदा!

हे कृष्णा!

हे केशवा!

आपकी आशीर्वाद सदैव हम सब पर रहे!

Heer Ranjha

2010-05-13T00:37:00.001+08:00

The song Ranjha Ranjha has really fascinated me. I was wondering what the name 'Ranjha' meant and did a small google search. I also found its roots in a Punjabi classical song. Just listen to this:

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The first two lines are the same from the song in Raavan. Fascinating isn't it? Also the story of Heer and Ranjha is a famous one in Punjab! Once again, it is a famous love story just like all the Romeo-Juliet, Laila-Majnu kinda stories we have heard so far:

"Heer was an extremely beautiful woman born in a wealthy family "Sayyal". Ranjha (Teedo) was the youngest of four brothers, after a confrontation with his brothers, Ranjha left home and travels around and comes to Heer's village, where he found his love, Heer, who offered him a job to take care of there cattle. Having met Ranjha, Heer became mesmerised by the way Ranjha played the flute (Wanjli) and eventually fell in love with him. They would meet each other secrectly for many years until they were caught by her jealous uncle "Kaido" and parents (Chuchak & Malki). Heer was forced to married to another man "Saida Khera", with the full permission of "Mullah" (priest), who was well-payed by Kaido.

Ranjha was left broken hearted and left to walk the quiet villages on his own until eventually met a Jogi (devoted beleiver in God). Having entering Gorak's Tilla (Shrine) Ranjha could only see his departed lover and being emotionally scared he voluntarally became a Jogi. Reciting the name of the Lord "Allakh Naranjjan" on his travels around the Punjab he found the village, where he was reunited with Heer. They escaped (also with Saida Khera's sister "Sehti", who was in love with "Murad Baluch" - an another famous love story of Punjabi Culture) but was caught by Maharajah's police. Maharajah punished him to jail but same night whole city was in flames. Maharajah freed Ranjha and permitted him to marry with Heer.

They came back to Heer's Village, where Heer's parents agreed to their marriage. On the wedding day, Heer's jealous uncle, "Kaido" poisoned her so the wedding wouldn't take place. Having heard the news Ranjha rushed to aid Heer but was too late as she died. Ranjha becoming broken hearted once again and died on her grave."

The song is amazing and it does not bore you no matter how many times you listen to it!

Water from heavens above

2010-05-12T20:32:00.001+08:00

Waves of water splashed onto me

But I didn't feel a thing at all

'Cos there was a glass between me

And the water from heavens above

A child separated from the mother

A lover separated from the beloved

A friend separated from the dear one

Such was my state

In the event of the downpour

~Priya~

Talking to myself

2010-05-10T20:35:00.001+08:00

I've tried imagining a world without all those man-made things. I realized simply how many things man has made up! That is a lot of things you know! Just imagine... Whatever is left behind that is not man-made would be the Earth with its trees, plants, and all other living organisms, and finally the humans who are just part of the 'other living organisms'. What is it that separates the humans from the rest of the things that are not man-made are those that are man-made; meaning the things that came out of man; out of his mind. And if you further reduce the entire universe into its basic constituents, you end up with the five elements: earth, water, fire, air and space; from the gross to the subtle.

Yet we take so much effort to beautify our lives, which if you think in comparison to the grander scheme of events, is utterly insignificant. We make so much fuss about all the problems in life, which will seem silly if you just make a small comparison with that problem and the wider scheme of things. This kinda reminder would always serve its purpose in case our ego gets inflated and blinds our discriminative capacity. Instead of getting too entangled into the problems in life, just think of where you stand with reference to the universe, then your problems become insignificant. The 'heck care' attitude is the best!

But that doesn't mean that you disregard your 'to-be-done' duties. Life should be lived according to your wishes but if certain things are to be done then then they have to be done! Just go on with your life, enjoy it, and then later forget it. Probably that is why we end up with Alzheimer's in old age...

(This blog post is for myself. Me talking to me. I didn't mean it for anyone else.)

The making of a graduate

2010-05-06T22:37:00.001+08:00

Life seems to be free and open from where I stand now. I have completed my university education and I'm not thinking of what to do in life next. Of course, I have to go and find a job and start working. I will do just that. But I've come to realize that research is not something that I would want to do for the rest of my life. I have other interests to pursue. With God's blessings, I hope I will be able to achieve what I set out for.

I wouldn't say that the struggle for life begins now that I have graduated. Instead, I see my whole life ahead of me, inviting me with open hands, for me to go and achieve whatever I want to! I feel that I have been empowered to seek whatever I want in life and achieve it. Was it the university education, or my friends, or the books I read, I don't know. But I feel like I've grown so much and yet still not grown fully. There is lots more in life to learn, I realize!

Neither am I scared of my future prospects. Whatever it is, I will have to face it. All I have to do is never to loose sight of my individuality. Easier said than done... Sigh.

Wish me luck!

That I am

2010-05-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

I am not a daughter.
I have never been one.

I am not a woman.
I have never been one.

I am not a human.
I have never been one.

I am not my thoughts
I am not my feelings
I am not my memories
Neither am I my mind

I am not my values
I am not my opinions
I am not morality personified
Neither of these I am.

Who, then, am I?

I am birthless.
I am immortal.
I am infinity.
That I am.

I am existence.
I am consciousness.
I am bliss.
That I am.

Random...

2010-04-17T01:21:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone! I'm posting after a long long time! Nope! I've not forgotten my child, that is my blog... :) I wanted to start this new chapter in my life, cos I'll be graduating soon from NUS, with an article review. Basically, I'm just gonna respond to an article I came across, which hurt me a little. You can read it here.

This article, in summary, is written by an Indian Poly student. He is not happy with the increasing influx of foreigners, especially Indians from India. The following are the reasons he quotes, and my responses along with them:

1) Many Singaporean students felt they were being denied the chance to be the first in the subjects and tests. Shouldn’t public schools be focusing on nurturing our own talents?

- Denying the chance to be the first? You will be the first, if you deserve the place. You are never behind in any race. All the students, regardless of whether they are from China or India or any other country, have the same brain, the same functioning capability, and the same fundamental concepts taught to them. Eventhough they come from another country, they undergo the same education under our system as all of us. But they can perform better because of their individual skills and not because they have come from China or India.

- Scholarships are also provided to the locals, mind you. Meritocracy rules here in Singapore! Nothing else!

2) Similar to the situation between PRCs and Singaporean Chinese, there is very little in common between Indian PRs and us. Little India has been all but overrun by them. Local Indians now try to stay away as far as possible. We have been crowded out from the restaurants, markets and temples.

- If "foreign" Indians have not at all been allowed into Singapore, then there would be no Little India, there would not be this many temples as they would all have to be closed down due to low incomers, as of the markets no need to say anything at all. Foreigners form an integrate part of our land. Infact, to think of it, all of us were initially foreigners. Because we had never always been in Singapore. Most of us have come from either India, Malaysia, Burma, China, etc. a few generations back. So in that case, ALL of us are foreigners...

3) Most PRs who come from India are not Tamil-speakers and generally look down on South Indians, who Tamils belong to.

- I agree to this statement to an extent only. Because this happens in India as well. Not just in Singapore. Northerners do have a certain condescendence regarding their skin colour being akin to Westerners. However, we cannot generalise and say this is true of all non-Tamil speaking Indians.

4) There is a belief among Indian PRs that they are in demand to work in Singapore because the local Indians are not as good as they are, and therefore they behave with a sense of superiority and snobbishness.

- This one, I'm not entirely sure of. Again a sweeping statement is made about the foreign Indian PRs. I am not defending anyone here. But only telling you not to speak of it, without showing proper evidence. Even if this might be true in the initial stages, Indian PRs do learn to accept and live with the rules and regulations set by fellow Singaporeans.

5) The scourge of castes has completely disappeared in Singapore. We see each other as Indians and nothing else. But these PRs are bringing in their prejudices from India and corrupting our local culture.

- Hello! Have you forgotten that you are an Indian too?? Remember that you are an Indian with a close or distant Indian origin! The caste system will never disappear completely, not in India and not in Singapore. It is a fact of life and part of life, it will exist. Nothing can be done about it. In what way are they corrupting our local culture? So are you telling that the Chettiar Temples in Tank road and the Sithi Vinayagar one have corrupted our local culture?? Please think before you pen down your thoughts to a newspaper for publication!

Teacher or The Teaching?

2010-03-15T01:28:00.003+08:00

This is all I want to tell to all those people there still trapped in the 'Nithy' trap...

When you are on the path of seeking the Truth, because you have become fed up of your life, then you will be desperate enough to follow someone and anyone to attain your goal. But in that journey, you get so attached to the "teacher" and not his/her "teaching"! That is the mistake people make...

All these new age cults, if you notice, they are very teacher-centered. Examples include Isha, Shri Shri Ravishankar, whoever else, you name it! I agree that these people are doing good, doing charity, teaching meditation... But would you only learn all these meditation, yoga and stuff if all these come from a person wearing ocher robes?? Is that ocher robe really important??

Observe other groups that also have Swamis. Look at Chinmaya Mission and Arsha Vidya Gurukulam. They are never teacher-oriented. They don't even advertise their charity projects. In fact, you wouldn't even have heard of Swami Chinmayananda or Swami Dayananda Saraswati until you come across them here in this blog. These people don't advertise themselves in magazines, give discourses on youtube, etc. They teach Vedanta, and other Hinduism disciplines like Yoga, Ayurveda, Sanskrit, etc. And they charge minimal for that too.... Not to the extent of US$6000 for a 21-day programme!!

Believe in God, not people who claim themselves to be God. A truly realized person will never even openly tell that he is God. Because it is for him to understand, not for the others. Pls come out of the dark, people! Pls lets think by ourselves...

Something something...

2010-02-05T15:21:00.000+08:00

If you see that someone's behaviour has drastically changed for the past few months, you can just conclude that the person is seeing someone. Behaviours like frequent disappearances, not joining his/her friends for lunch/dinner like usually he/she does, weekends have suddenly become busy, skipping lectures (sometimes), etc. When you finally see that person with that someone, and that too frequently, then you can confirm for sure!

Is there an eternal heaven?

2010-02-01T00:37:00.002+08:00

Hi guys... I have written a post in my other blog on whether there is such a thing as absolute evil. Do please read it :) In this post, I am going to negate the concept of the eternal heaven or paradise.

Take note of the term "eternal heaven". I am not saying that heaven does not exist. Neither am I saying that heaven does exist. The existence of heaven is just a belief that a lot of people have, which cannot be confirmed unless we are dead. Provided that we have done enough good to even "see heaven".

I am referring to the concept of an heaven which is eternal. Meaning permanent. Is there such a thing as eternal heaven?

What is impermanent?

How do we go about defining what is impermanent? If we know what is impermanent, then by the law of remainder, we will know what is not impermanent. Therefore, let's look at how we can define what is impermanent.

Something that is impermanent, is that which has a beginning and an end. Do you agree? It has a birth and a death. This laptop is impermanent. This blogger website is impermanent. Forget the laptop and the blogger website. This whole universe is impermanent! Because all these have a beginning and therefore an end too. Meaning, they are bound by time.

These impermanent objects are also bound by space. If this laptop is not bound by space, then it can be at several places at the same time. Heck, it can be everywhere at the same moment in time! But it is not! This laptop is here on my desk. It occupies space. Therefore, it is bound by space.

Therefore, everything that is impermanent is bound by time and space. It also has a name and form. Are you with me so far? So now, let's look at our eternal heaven. The concept of heaven is a place where you go to after you are dead, or rather where your "spirit" goes to after the body is dead, and experience eternal happiness. We can observe two things from here:

1) Heaven is a place, a conception which is clearly bound by time and space if you think about it. Clearly, it has a name and a form. So the question arises, where is this heaven? Who created heaven? So before creating the heaven, where was the creator? The fact that heaven was created itself shows that there was a beginning for heaven -> immediately you can conclude that it is bound by time. Therefore, heaven is impermanent and thus there is NO such thing as an "eternal heaven". If there is such a place called heaven, then it will be an impermanent experience.

2) Is happiness an experience or understanding? If it is an experience, then that happiness is impermanent. Because every experience begins somewhere and ends somewhere. No experience lasts forever. Therefore, you cannot "experience" eternal happiness. It is a state of understanding. (How you reach this state of understanding is not within the scope of this post.)

So now we know what is impermanent, what then is not impermanent? Take note that I did not use the term "permanent". Something that is not bound by both time and space is not impermanent. Something which the impermanent "objects" depend upon. Something that is an independent reality. The Hindus call this independent reality Brahman.

This is a side-track. I did not mention two more definitions of what is impermanent. Anything that has an attribute attached to it, for example colour, quality, quantity, etc., is of an impermanent nature. Anything that has this attributes is subject to change. Therefore, anything that is changing is impermanent.

Why am I very sure that such an independent reality (Brahman) really exists?

Everything around us is changing. Just think about this. Appearances change. Technology changes. Ideologies change. EVERYTHING!

But a change cannot be measured without a reference point. For example, how do you measure time? Time = Final - Initial. Right? You always measure something with a reference point, which will be your "Initial". Similarly, by analogy, there should be a reference point to measure all this change around us! This reference point is what we call the Changeless entity. This Changeless entity is that which is not impermanent, not bound by time and space (meaning it is eternal and omnipresent), it is called Brahman.

P.S.: My point in writing this post is for me to read it once again in the future and understand the evolution of my thought processes. This post is not meant for everyone! Only a select few will be able to fully understand the entire content of this post and its implications and appreciate it. The rest will understand, but not fully. Do comment if you have any opinions to express or questions to ask! All views are welcome!

...

2010-01-27T01:06:00.001+08:00

I miss D.

I miss P.

I miss M.

Why are all my

loved ones far away

from me this sem?

Why there is nothing different between a man and a woman...

2010-01-25T12:42:00.001+08:00

There is an issue for which we don't give much thought to and we just carry on with our lives. That issue is gender. Just look around you. Everything is gendered. Starting from names, toilets, clothes, accessories, to behaviours, practices, and code of conduct. Movies exhibit these gender differences very well, and the media has been a major contributing factor for instilling notions of maleness or femaleness in our minds.

Take an example of going out on a date with a guy/girl. Girls usually dress up for the guys. Guys open doors for the girls and pull out the chairs for them to sit. Guys pay for the dinner. A very typical gendered notion comes into our minds when we think of a setting in a date. This is just an example. Infact, everything in our lives is gendered in one way or another. Even the way we dress.

But come to think of it, why do these differences in roles, behaviours and practices exist in the first place? The main reason is that it has been a social construct. All these behaviours and so-called rules on how a man and a woman are supposed to behave have been construed by the society. Things like a man should not cry or display emotions, a woman should be submissive and sensitive, etc.

Let's look at this objectively. The only thing that is different between a man and a woman is the biological role. Man can provide one part of the haploid cell that can fuse with the other part of the haploid cell in the woman and the woman can give birth to a child. That is all the difference. The difference stops there. Consider the rest, with regards to rights, education, freedom of speech, freedom of thought, etc. They are all the same for both men and women. No one has a particular superiority or inferiority title attached to them. Because after the child, it becomes the responsibility of BOTH the men and the women to take care of the child, not just the women.

So my fellow humans, let's break down this polarity. Let's break down these differences. Men and women are both humans, that's all. There are no differences between them. The roles might be different biologically, but that doesn't confer a difference in cognition and expression of emotions. Because there are women out their who are emotionally strong and there are men out there who are emotionally weak. So we cannot generalise and demarcate the differences.

It is ok for guys to cry too. It is alright for women to speak out loud. It is alright for guys to put on make-up to present themselves better. It is alright if girls don't put make-up on or dress nicely in uncomfortable clothes. Let's just deconstruct all these differences and the next time you do anything, think if your behaviour is in any way gendered. If it is, then understand that you needn't necessarily label it as such.

Interesting Neeya Naana episode...

2010-01-17T19:39:00.002+08:00

This episode of Neeya Naana, although it is quite old, is really amazing! I am very impressed at the views expressed by the youngsters today. Do go to Youtube.com and watch the entire episode, while I am only embedding the 1st part of the show here:

I think it is the 5th part of this episode videos,in which the topic about thaali (the sacred thread) comes about. Many of the males in the opposition side bravely raised their hands and said that they will not tie thaali in their marriage ritual! I am simply amazed! And not to mention these people are from "staunch" countries like Madurai, Dindukkal, etc., where the tradition and religious practices are deeply rooted in the society.

My personal opinion on this subject matter, on whether marriage rituals are necessary or not, is entirely objective. As long as you do not see any value for the rituals, you don't have to follow it. It is entirely your choice. But because I see a certain value to these rituals, I know they have meanings, they serve a certain purpose, I would go for it.

The so-called sacred thread, thaali, did not even exist back then, many centuries ago! It became a necessity somewhere just a few centuries ago, probably because of Mughal and British invasions. But now, in a free society, I think there isn't any need for thaali anymore.

So back then what ritual was there that thaali-tying has now replaced? You must be wondering... Well, there was a ritual called "kanya daanam". The father of the bride will bring both the bride's and the bridegroom's hands together and join them together. Plus there is the Saptapadi (7 vows taken in 7 steps around the sacred fire). After joining hands, the couple has to take their 7 vows together. That is all there is for marriage, no thaali tying all.

For me, I don't know if I will wear a thaali. I want my marriage to take place as per the original Hindu ritual where there is kanya daanam, and all, but no thaali tying. But I don't know whether this will happen in this way. There is no use in wishing for something and building up expectations for something and in the end, it not happening and you getting disappointed. So I am going to just leave it at that.

Thaali = male domination: Now this is an interesting viewpoint. I never thought about this! But come to think of it, it is really male domination! IF and only IF the males have forgotten that they have to wear their metti (toe ring)!!!

Happiness expires in....

2010-01-17T18:18:00.000+08:00

I don't understand why people still hanker after happiness, one after another, even though they know that it will not last forever... Everything in this world seems to have an expiration date stamped on it; "Gives happiness till xx-xx-xxxx"! I'm so sick and tired of running after something, hoping I will be happy after I get it, and then the next day, realising that the thing has changed or I have changed.

Tough choice.... Feeling down...

2010-01-11T22:42:00.000+08:00

Sigh... Now I have to drop my MNO1001 Management and Organisation module so that I can take LAH2201 Hindi 2... I really wanted both the modules, but they are clashing, so I had to choose one. I chose Hindi, although I wanted MNO1001 since my first year.

I oddly feel so lonely nowadays... It has been ages since I've gone out with my friends. Why am I feeling like this? Not only that, but I also feel I have no friends who understand me fully. I am not saying that they have not been good friends. But just that I want to have a friend who understands me better than anyone else. Someone with whom I can relate to very well, and share my feelings with without any restrictions.

You know sometimes this kind of friend can even be a stranger. It is funny, but sometimes with a stranger you can be very free and outspoken, especially because you have no expectations from him/her. It is an odd feeling. I know this but I have not experienced this.

I don't know why I am feeling this way. I have to get used to my loneliness and to the fact that there is only me who understands me better than anyone else. Or I should say there is only God who understands me better than anyone else. And I happy with this.

I got all my modules!!

2010-01-10T00:52:00.001+08:00

Ahh... I'm so happy today. My presentation in Hinduism class went well :) My group was the first one to go, thank God! And so we finished it off. I was alright despite the fact that we only prepared on the day itself. I didn't stammer this time, and my friend said I did well... I can't believe it, but I am happy nonetheless.

Amongst all this tension, I did not check my bidding status for my modules. I bid only in the morning at 9am. I put 1200 points for MNO1001 Management and Organisation, and 840 points for SC2220 Gender Studies. The winning bids for MNO1001 was 651 and for SC2220 was 701. Thank God I got the modules!

I have always wanted to take MNO1001, since my first semester here in NUS. Now, I got the module when I have reached the end of my NUS life :( Well, I hope I would do well in this semester and I could continue on for my 4th year. Let's see...

So this is my timetable for this semester:

It seems like I have so much of free time right? Haha. That is just an illusion. Only 4 modules are shown here. Well, I have a 5th module, which is my UROPS (Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program in Science) project. I would be spending all my free time and late nights in my lab doing experiments... Sigh. So this semester is not that easy for me. I would still have presentations, homeworks, etc. Especially this semester I am learning a new language, Hindi. Also not to mention, the Diploma course I'm doing every Sat. I'm thinking of also taking the Sanskrit Course conducted in Hindu Centre. So this semester will be a heavy one, but I will enjoy it for sure, as I am doing everything which I really like doing! :)

Layout..

2010-01-09T00:04:00.002+08:00

Now, I am completely satisfied with the way my blog looks... :)

Hope I won't change it till next year... Haha..

2010-01-08T20:52:00.001+08:00

Arrrrggghhhhhh!! I want a nice layout for my blog.... Why do I get so bored of whatever layout I put up?? I know what I am looking for, now why can't I find it!!! This layout is not working for me... :( Sorry ppl, I'm gonna keep changing the layout, bear with me.... This one stinks... The links above don't even work.. :(

What will you do?

2010-01-07T21:45:00.002+08:00

What will you do if someone thinks bad of you even when you only meant good?

What will you do if someone thinks you are faking a smile, when you smiled sincerely from your heart?

What will you do if someone thinks you are a trickster, when you are only being friendly with them?

Kai Kodutha Deivam (The God who helped)

2010-01-05T23:26:00.002+08:00

Something amazing happened today... Although things went bad in the lab today, help came to me at the right time. I still can't believe it.

It was 8pm and I was still in my lab. My autoclave all went wrong so everything got delayed, but I wasn't panicking. I was cool.

After my autoclave was done, I had to immediately do inoculation. But before that, I had to check the machine in which I'm going to put the flasks in. I checked and I found that most of the racks were already in use, although I booked the machine. I was irritated at that point of time.

But there was still some space. Just when I thought, okay thank God, there is some space to put my flasks in, then came another problem. I couldn't find the racks that fit my 1L flasks. Well, I did find them, but I didn't know how t fix them. There were so many samples in the machine already!

I was almost about to give up and thought I would do the inoculation tomorrow. I stood there and thought for a while what to do. There were only a few people in that floor and I didn't know anyone there. Sigh..

Just when I was about to give up, a man came in and asked me if I was using the hood, in which I left my stuff. I said yes, I will be done soon. He was about to leave, but then I was desperate so I called him and asked if he could help me fix the racks.

Well, it is not really a tough job to fix the racks, but the thing is I've never done it before. The guy helped me fix the racks. For him, he had to finish his work soon and go home. I was in his way, and helping me would help him in a way. But still, you have no idea how glad I was to have someone help me just when I needed help!!!

This is not the first time this happened to me. This has happened a lot of times to me. Whenever I needed help, it came to me at the right time, usually in some form; person or object.

Wait, there's more...

So after finishing everything, I left home, thinking how lucky I was to get some help at the right time. I mean for you, the readers, this might seem like a small thing, but I was in the situation, so I know how much it means to me. So when I got back home, the first thing I did was tell my mum and dad about this. They were watching Vannathirai channel. And you know what was the title of the movie that they aired today??

KAI KODUTHA DEIVAM!!!

I was so shocked! Pleasantly surprised more like! Now, what are the odds that this movie was to be aired today, just when I had gone through something similar? Gosh, I was so shocked!

Kanna! You are simply wonderful! You are always there for me, looking after me, taking care of me, being there when I am happy and sad! I haven't prayed to You for some time, and yet You never fail to help me when in need! I only have to exclaim, "Krishna! What is this? Why am I put to test like this all the time?" And that's it! You come there, in some form, to help me! I see You in all the people around me! You are always there in my Dad, in my Mum, in my Friends, in everyone! It's just that people don't see You always. I always see You only in all! But I need Your Grace to see You in Me. Help me Krishna! Like you helped Arjuna see it! And that is all I ask!

Dear friend, I miss you!

2010-01-05T17:09:00.003+08:00

Sitting near my window in my room, with a cup of milo in my hand, my mind just whirled back to the past. Wondering why he hasn't mailed... Wondering why he hasn't smsed... Wondering why he hasn't made any efforts to keep in touch... Since the time he had left to go back home.

It was such a wonderful friendship. I've never felt this close or this free with any guy before. And when I finally start to make a connection, I feel it slipping away from my hands...

I keep wondering how did this friendship form. I keep wondering if it would still be the same as before after he comes back.

I only hope it will last for a long time. 'Cos my friend, I miss you so much!

Sleep deprivation... silent killer!

2010-01-04T18:18:00.003+08:00

"...There is also a growing recognition that sleep restriction is a risk factor for significant metabolic dysfunction. Sleep deprivation could be the silent killer of the 21st Century but in a different way from how hypertension was similarly labelled in the 20th Century."
Prof Michael Chee, Cognitive Neuroscience Lab(www.cogneuro-lab.org), Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School Singapore

For more information, visit http://www.nus.edu.sg/research/rg124.php

So one more "to-do" to include in my New Year Resolution list: Go to bed early!!

First post for 2010 :)

2010-01-03T00:08:00.003+08:00

I didn't really have a fresh start for the new year. I woke up in the morning as usual at 10am. I didn't really plan to wake up earlier and offer prayers to God. But the day was the start of a new year. So it just naturally happened that after taking my shower, I lighted up the lamp in my prayer "room". And also in my room.

I have a small Krishna shrine in my room. At one corner of the room. I have this because my prayer "room" in the hall is not really a conducive place to sit and worship with a peaceful mind. Well, I don't really offer regular prayers in my room either, which supposedly I should be doing everyday, 3 times a day (morning, noon, and evening). So this year, my resolution would be the following:

1) Pray everyday, at least once, even if it is just lighting a small lamp in the main shrine in the hall, or in the small shrine in your room.

2) Chant a shloka or do japa of "Om Namah Shivaya" 108 times everyday, once would do.

3) Read and understand the Home Study Course of Bhagavad Gita Vol I everyday for atleast 5 minutes, before going to bed. After Vol I is finished, proceed to Vol II.

Out of the 3 resolutions above, I am successfully doing no. 3, but no. 1 and no. 2, I've been doing them irregularly. It is actually just a matter of making it a habit. When you do something everyday, you will automatically adopt it as part of your daily routine. It's just like how you take a shower everyday without fail. You will never go like, "Oops! I forgot to take my shower today before I left my house!" right? So I hope to achieve the above 3 resolutions this year, in a proper manner!

When I was regularly going to my Hinduism classes, I do all the 3 above everyday you know. But when the semester got so hectic, and exams started nearing, I just couldn't be consistent. And now it has become very irregular. And the worst part of it all is, I can actually feel the difference in my mental state! Like while I was praying, chanting, meditating and reading everyday, my mental state was calm and composed. Now, after I've stopped doing all these, I can see that things around me and even my mental state has changed. I'm feeling slacky more often, lazy more like. I'm not imagining anything, and neither is it something to do with psychology, I can tell this for sure. And I can't even properly describe the feeling. So by starting to pray, chant and meditate everyday, I'm hoping to freshen up my mental state and start this new year properly.

My other resolutions would be:

4) This time around, be consistent in your studies. This might be your last semester, so put in all your hard work and do well. Increase your chances of improving your grades, try aiming for Honours.

5) Be more health-conscious, avoid junk food, try to exercise more this year and loose weight as much as you can. Walk 5 times a week for 45-60 minutes.

6) Enjoy your final semester in NUS as much as you can. But put your studies first when needed.

7) Put aside some time to catch up with friends overseas.

8) Put aside some time to spend time with yourself.

9) Buy more clothes in the second half of the year, for work (if you're not doing Honours).

10) Keep this list of resolutions alive!

Haha... That should be all. Maybe there is more, maybe not.

Last post of year 2009! Welcome 2010!

2009-12-31T19:11:00.008+08:00

Wow... I can't believe that already a year has passed by. And what a wonderful year it has been! I am no longer the same person I was in the beginning of this year. This year has helped me mature a lot. There are certain things I cannot share publicly. But my close friends know when I say that a lot of things that happened in my life has made me mature a little further. Of course, I still haven't tasted the full reality of this world yet. Because I'm still a student. But at least I got an idea of what's out there...

I started my Diploma in Hinduism Teaching this year. And God, has it been wonderful! There were so many things I've learned this year! It has been a life-altering decision to take up this Diploma, and I'm thankful to God for opening up this door for me. I feel like I am continuing on a journey I left unfinished in my previous births...

The most wonderful thing about the second half of this year is the strengthening of the friendship bond. Lots of "going out" with friends, lots of "spending time together", and I simply love it! Life is just all about simple and beautiful things. Its us who make it all complicated by thinking too much. One good lesson I've learned this year!

I made two new friends this year! Praga and Dinesh!! :) I only wish this friendship will continue... Although now both are in Malaysia. I miss them!! I realise this year, I've made quite a number of friends, and most or all of them are from Malaysia!! Haha...

Studies keep going up and down, but my quest for Honours is still on-going. This semester my grades went down a little, but there is still a little hope next semester. This brings down to what I can expect to happen next year. Either I will graduate in May/June and join the workforce, or I will get better grades and proceed on with Honours year, graduating in 2011. Any way at all, next year's going to be another turning point for me.

No matter what, I'm so thankful to my family, friends and God that everything is going on fine! :) Thanks a lot dear friends, who have made this year a wonderful one for me! And even for a few of those who have given me unpleasant/depressing moments in my life, thanks for helping me to grow (over you)! Thanks dears! :)

A telugu song I like this time...

2009-12-31T16:48:00.008+08:00

Name: Ne Tolisariga
Movie Name: Santosham
Original Singer: Usha

Ne tolisariga - by...

Lyrics:
nE tolisaariga kalagannadi ninnE kadaa
naa kaLLeduruga nilichunnadi nuvvE kadaa
swapnama nuvvu satyama telichi cheppave priyatamaa
mounamO madhura gaanamO tanadi aDagave hRudayamaa
intalO chEruvai antalO dooramai andavaa snEhamaa

rekkalu toDigina talapunuvE kaada nEstamaa
ekkaDa vaalanu cheppunuvE sahavaasamaa
haddulu cheripina cheliminuvai naDipE deepama
vaddaku raakani aapakila anuraagama
naDakalu nErpina aaSevu kada
taDapaDa neeyaku kadilina kadha
vetikE manasuku mamatE panchumaa

prEma neetO parichayamE edO paapama
amRutamanukoni nammaTamE oka Saapama
nee oDi cherina prati madiki baadhE phalitamaa
teeyani ruchigala kaTika visham nuvvE sumaa
pedavula pai chiru navvula daga
kanapaDa neeyavu nippula sega
neeTiki aarani manTala roopama
nee aaTeEmiTO enaaTiki aapavu kadaa
nee paaTEmiTO E janTaki choopavu kadaaa
tenchukO neevu panchukO neevu inta chalagaaTama
cheppukO neevu tappukO neevu neeku idi nyayamaa
pErulO praNayama teerulO praLayama
pantamaa bandhamaa

I loved it :)

2009-12-31T01:49:00.003+08:00

Loving my lab... :)

2009-12-30T16:27:00.001+08:00

I really love my lab and my lab mates!! :) I'm so lucky indeed to have gotten such helpful people... I got my clones!! Yeay! :) Still a long way to go... But I'm so happy! :)

So beautiful...

2009-12-29T19:05:00.001+08:00

I Remember You
You're the one who made my dreams come true
A few kisses ago

I remember you
You're the one who said i love you too
Didn't you know

I remember too
A distant bell
And stars that fell
Like rain out of the blue

When my life is through
And the angels ask me to recall
The thrill of them all
Then i will tell them i remember you

(George Michael's song)

Two wonderful songs

2009-12-24T21:50:00.005+08:00

I was watching a drama series and came across some lovely songs which really touched my heart. It was really nice, but they are old english songs. I tried searching for them online on youtube and found them both in one video! It was fantastic! I feel so great about finding two the songs I was looking for in just one video!! I mean, what are odds of finding two songs you were looking for separately, in just one video? Well here it goes:

First Song: A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square

That certain night, the night we met,
There was magic abroad in the air,
There were angels dining at the Ritz,
And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.

I may be right, I may be wrong,
But I`m perfectly willing to swear
That when you turned and smiled at me
A nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.

The moon that lingered over London town,
Poor puzzled moon, he wore a frown.
How could he know we two were so in love?
The whole darn world seemed upside down

The streets of town were paved with stars;
It was such a romantic affair.
And, as we kissed and said `goodnight`,
A nightingale sang in Berkeley Square

I know `cos I was there,
That night in Berkeley Square.

Second Song: The Very Thought of You

The very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything

The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

...

2009-12-24T18:15:00.003+08:00

உனக்கோர் பேர் தான் கிடையாது
அதனால் சொல்ல முடியாது
கடலை பிடிச்சு கையில் அடக்கிடத்தெரியாது

வின்னில் போனால் நிறமாகும்
மன்னில் வந்தால் மழையாகும்
கோவில் போனால் சிலையாகும்
கோடியில் பூத்தால் மலராகும்

ஒத்த வார்த்தையில் சொல்ல சொன்னால்
உனது பேரே அழகாகும்

Love my family!

2009-12-20T23:20:00.002+08:00

For a first time in a long time, I had a fun time with my dear family! :) It is so nice to be with them. But it also hurts to think that they cannot relate with me in terms of my new-found interests. They seem like very different people from myself, although ultimately we all belong to the same family.

Still, I love them very much! They have already been very tolerant with whatever changes I've made to my life and they have been very trusting and not so strict with me. So for that, I am grateful to have such wonderful parents.

Just some pondering...

2009-12-19T00:15:00.002+08:00

I have come across many kinds of people who range from non-believers to staunch believers. From one extreme to the other extreme. These are the people whom I have either met in person or read about in the news. It is interesting to finally meet someone who has a conception of God as being formless. I know two of my friends who think like that.

This is interesting because it is literally difficult to think of God as being formless, especially when you have a certain level of personal relationship with God. I am only now trying to understand this concept as it is difficult for me to shift from form-God to formless-God. For now in my life, I pray to God with a form because it helps me to visualize God, someone/something that is helping me create favourable situations in my life and helping me achieve my goals. It will take time for me to understand the formless and attribute-less aspect of God as it is a very high concept.

I guess people who pray to a formless God, only do so because for them it seems ridiculous to believe in Shiva, Vishnu or Ganesha. I totally understand this because these characters are fictitious. They do not really exist. However, the ideals they represent is what that should be taken note of rather than the personality itself. I have already mentioned this in a post I made in July. It's like I said. Having someone to inspire you, but it is not a person in reality, but God Himself/Herself with a form.

I guess it is nothing wrong to see God however you wish. As long as the aspects of God are still attached to the form you give to the God. Having a conception of a formless God somehow seems funny, because a formless God still has attributes like omnipresence and omniscience. Can someone pls enlighten me on how you conceive a formless God and why?

Universal knowledge...

2009-12-18T16:07:00.002+08:00

A very interesting passage for your reading pleasure:

What is to be done and what is not to be done, what is proper and not proper - these things you already know, of course, because you have a certain innate sense about them. No one can plead ignorance of what is right and wrong. This knowledge is universal.

What do you mean by universal knowledge? All monkeys, for example, born to live on treetops, need to know something about the law of gravity - and they do. Ifyou were to observe the mother monkey, yo would see that she has no concern about whether there is a baby holding onto her or not as she jumps from tree to tree. The baby monkey, however, holds onto its mother's bosom for its dear life. It is definitely afraid of falling, whereas the mother is not. She just keeps leaping from one branch to another, while her baby holds on tight.

Suppose, however the baby monkey had to undergo some education to know that there is a law of gravity operating, that it must hold on tightly in order not to fall, and that it if did fall, it would be injured or it would die. If all of these hings had to be taught to monkeys, many of them would die for want of education and the species itself would sooner or later become extinct.

Fortunately, every baby monkey, without being educated, seems to know what is done and what is not to be done. Without going to Harvard or Cornell, without joining the Moral Majority, it knows very well that 'I will fall if I let go of my mother.' That 'I will fall; is one piece of truth and 'if I fall, I may hurt myself' is the second piece of truth the monkey seems to know. The third piece of truth is, 'To fall and get hurt or be killed is not good forme or for my species.'

Instinctively, then, the monkey knows all this. Since monkeys are made to live on treetops, the minimum knowledge every monkey must have in order to survive is to know, 'I will fall; objects come down; I will be the victim if I don't hold on to the other branch when I leap.' This knowledge must be given to monkeys along with the creation. Only then is there any hope of a monkey living its life on the treetops.

Such knowledge is instinctive and is what we call the creation. If that knowledge is not given to a monkey and it has to be educated in order to know how to survive, then I would say that there is a defect in the creation.

Similarly, as a human being, I am born with a faculty of choice. Unlike a monkey, however, I can choose to live on treetops, on the 20th floor of a building in Manhattan, or in a cottage on some riverbank. I can choose to go to Alaska and keep only my nose out or I can live in the tropics. Because I have the faculty of choice, I can choose my course of action. I can choose various ends and various means to achieve those ends.

That human beings seek securities and pleasures is a common fact that we have already analysed. And in seeking these ends, they have to follow certain means to achieve them. More often than not, upon analysis you will find that the problems lie only in the means and not in the ends.

(For example, stealing in order to provide for the family. The end is 'providing for the family', which is not wrong. But the means, 'stealing', is wrong.)

This passage is interesting because it shows that we have a naturally in-built consensus of what is right and what is wrong.

Can we be friends?

2009-12-17T23:49:00.004+08:00

It is so damn irritating... I've had it... Finally, I want to get it out and in the open.

Why do Indian guys always go, "can we be friends"? I'm sick of hearing this again and again. You don't know me at all. And still you want to ask to be friends. I don't understand this mentality of Indian guys... Can someone please enlighten me?

Friendship should happen by itself, and it is not something you initiate. You meet a person a few times, you get to know that person slowly, and then you get to share personal thoughts with that person and get connected with them. The moment you share these personal thoughts is the defining moment when you have subconsciously accepted the other person as a friend/confidante.

Without all this happening, how can you become friends with a person you have just met and trust them with all the things you share with them? The trust on the other person is developed only in the first few times you meet that person. If so, how you become friends immediately? Just like that? Especially a friendship between a guy and a girl.

I guess their definition of friendship is different. But still, it is ridiculous, the way they ask. I would say, if your definition and their definition of friendship does not seem to match or complement each other, then forget it... Move on.

The daunting future...

2009-12-08T22:17:00.003+08:00

Call me paranoid or anything, but seriously I am very scared about my future. Especially at this stage of my life, I am very much scared. You can call it the 'quarter-life crisis' or something.

Ten years ago, I was so naive enough to write in my diary the following words:

"Dear diary, I wonder who my future life partner would be like... I just wish he is all the things I want him to be. I don't know who he is, but I am already in love with him so much!"

The entry continues further. I wrote this when I was 11 or 12 years old, while I was still in primary school. I was such a daydreamer back then, believing so much in all the "prince-charming" nonsense... But looking at my life now, from the point where I am standing, it is really daunting.

Well, what am I really worried about here? That the guy I will one day marry will make me happy at first and then totally rip apart my heart? That this guy will cheat on me? That this guy will one day stop loving me? Not really. Yes, I am worried about all this. But I am more worried that I will stop loving him... I will never cheat on anyone, but the scary part is I losing interest in my love. This will happen to all of us. Most of us are worried that the day will come when both the man and the woman will get bored of each other. Not one ounce of love is left in the relationship, not even after the bundle of joy has come into their world to brighten it up.

This is something to be scared of that will happen after the marriage. But the most scariest of all is that I don't trust anyone at all!! I find it very hard to trust someone, because everyone has something about them that can surprise you! If this is the case, then how can my parents expect me to make the biggest decision in my life just based on trust on a guy whom I have never known before in my life (maybe known for a few months to a year)?

I am not supporting love marriage here. Hell, that is far worse than any form of arranged marriage. You are entirely on your own when it comes to love marriage, unless your parents are agreeable to your choice of partner. But in an arranged marriage, the rest of the family from both sides are with each other.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It is not just the boy's and the girl's decision to tie the knot, but the guy's family's and the girl's family's decision too. I would really love to go through with it. But I leave everything in God's hands and let Him take care of everything, as I have limited control over such matters.

No matter what type of marriage it is, love or arranged, my strong opinion is to never go against parents' wishes. If your parents are looking for a guy/girl for you, then you make the final decision. On the other hand, if you choose a person as your life partner, then let your parents make the final decision. This is something I strongly believe in. And if I were to come across a guy whom I like, I will bring him to my parents first before I take any decision.

Although I wonder what their reaction would be like! Haha. I believe that my parents are open-minded and would care more about my happiness than anything else. I believe they trust that I would make a good decision in choosing my life partner. I also believe that they are reading (or will soon read) this blog post right now... ;)

Apart from all this, the fear of the future is still there. I think I would never be able to trust anyone, until unless I know them for atleast a year. I believe in taking things slow and starting with friendship. Maybe being friends first can prolong the lifetime of a happy marriage. But its totally scary man!!

A Finished-studying-and-nothing-to-do post

2009-11-29T00:12:00.006+08:00

I've been meaning to write a post for a long long time, but have never gotten the time. I still have one more exam left to finish, then I'm free!!!!!! :) But for today, I've done studying, so got some free time to share some things I've learned today in Hindu Centre class.

Today's class was superb interesting and I have gained a lot of insight from it! Such a beneficial class I would say, that has opened up new doors of thought for me! Every Sat is the same; I always get new insights, learn about new facts of Hinduism that I never knew existed. Each time my devotion just increases, and each time I become more and more happy (not proud) to have been born as a Hindu, completely convinced that I must have done so much good deeds in my past lives! I don't see the need to be politically correct here, so you can make any inference you want from my previous sentence, because I meant what I meant.

Sharada stotram - chanting and commentary by Kathir

This part of the lesson was so interesting! I never knew that by just chanting this Saraswati (Goddess of Knowledge) stotram could actually mean we have worshipped the Goddess in the form of Knowledge! "Sharada" is the name given to the Goddess of Knowledge in Kashmir, which means a form depicting the season autumn. Why autumn? Because it is in the middle of two extremes; you neither experience the scorching heat, nor the shivering winter. Autumn relieves you from extremes: metaphorical meaning would be sinful deeds basically. Meaning Sharada Devi, the Goddess of Knowledge, relieves us of our sinful deeds. The whole stotram is about how knowledge is so important that it can relieve us from our sins committed in this life and our past lives.

One particular verse caught my attention:

Yaa shraddha dhaaranaa medhaa vaagdevi vidhivallabha

You are the shraddha (faith), the power of concentration (dhaaranaa) and the power of retention (medhaa). You are the divinity in speech (vaagdevi). You are the consort of Lord Brahma, the creator (vidhivallabha).

So this is basically the translation. This verse alone extols all the virtues of gaining knowledge and how wonderful it is.

Faith (Shraddha)

You need to have faith in life in everything to be able to do your daily duties and actions. You apply for a degree in a certain university, but that university will not guarantee that you will attain that degree! Nothing in life is given to you as immediate. So you need faith in yourself and it is very important to have faith in Ishwara (God) also! Faith (on the unseen and unknown) motivates you to keep going and not give up in any pursuit of your life. So if you have this faith in you, you have Saraswati in you (in the form of shraddha)!

Concentration or focus (Dhaaranaa)

Lot of us have trouble concentrating on something for a prolonged time. We easily get bored of stuff quickly and keep changing. Concentration and focus of mind is very difficult to achieve for us. We can't keep focus in lectures for long, for example. But without a one-pointed mind, we can easily lose ourselves and our motivation. When we climb a mountain for example, our faith and our ability to focus and concentrate is tested in the middle of the expedition. Oxygen levels are low, our body starts aching, and our breathing becomes difficult. At that time, the only thing that will propel us forward to reach the summit is our faith in ourselves and our focus or concentration on our end-goal. So in this stotram, you are actually praying to Sharada Devi to grant you that dhaaranaa. When that dhaaranaa is in you, you have Saraswati in you!

Medhaa (power of retention of what we learned, ability to understand)

Our brain is so hardwired nowadays such that our power of retention and our ability to grasp things immediately and understand them perfectly have significantly decreased. People who have this medhaa shakti (power of retention of what they learned), don't have to study for any tests. They can actually remember and understand the concepts taught in lectures, for example, so easily that they need not study for exams! But why can't everyone do this? Because our brain is literally slacking!! We have lecture notes, textbooks, internet, library, wikipedia!!! All the information are already stored in there! So why do we have to put them in our brain?

Back then in the past, they did not have any books, texts, or any writing instruments. Everything was orally taught! But now, the situation is different. "I don't have to listen because there is a webcast for this lecture!" So automatically, our value for medha shakti has decreased and so we don't utilise it often. Our brain has so much power that we always underestimate it! There are people in India who can actually chant the whole 100,000 verses of Mahabharatha from memory!! There are scholars and priests in India who have the whole Veda in their mind and can recite by memory alone! And not to mention, we only utilise so little of our brain even when we are great scientists or engineers!

So do NOT underestimate the power of retention of your brain!! Try listening to a lecture, with so much of concentration (dhaaranaa) and faith (shraddha) in you, without taking any notes! You will actually realise that you are capable of understanding the lecture perfectly without any aid, but just by listening!!! I've tried this in one of my Hinduism classes, and I didn't forget anything. It is always our fear that we will forget what we learned later that impels us to take notes during class. But our brain is not hardwired to multitask and pay multi-attention. Our brain can do only one thing at a time. If it is multi-tasking, then its concentration is only on one thing and the rest of the tasks are mechanical/automatic/subconscious. So by taking notes & listening, you will not benefit much, you will lose on some information. So try listening and understanding! It will work. All you need is strong faith in you!! So don't ever underestimate your power of retention and understanding!!

Divinity in speech (Vaagdevi)

Why does divinity reside in our speech? This is because No knowledge can take place without speech. Our ability to speak is a gift given by the Goddess! There were other things said during class, which I don't want to share here, because prior knowledge is required. So pardon me :)

Consort of Brahma, the creator (vidhivallabha)

This means that you need Knowledge to create! You cannot just create without knowledge. In every object of creation, the knowledge of the creator is within it. Take Ravivarma's painting for example. His aesthetic value and emotions are contained within his paintings. Similarly, the knowledge of the creator (the God) is contained in this Universe. This means that the God who created this Universe is ALSO a manifestion/part of this Universe! Hard to understand, but it will make sense if you think about it more.

So why do we chant these shlokas?

Basically, chanting shlokas have certain benefits attached to them. The pronounciations of Sanskrit with all the 50 syllables in the shloka, wil produce desirable vibrations in our body. Some shlokas have the power to relieve our fever, or any other ailments, especially if we chant it with FAITH, DEVOTION & UNDERSTANDING! Not just suka suka chant you know! The connection of the chant (sound) and the mind should be there, together with the devotion. This can only happen if we completely understand WHAT we are chanting! That was why this lesson was conducted.

Also by chanting shlokas, it can create positive vibrations that will help to increase our concentration, and our retention power of the brain!! This change can only be seen long term, after a few months of daily chanting. You can just chant Ganesha 108 names everyday (will take only 10 mins maybe), and that alone can help you a lot (if done with faith and devotion)! I am willing to teach anyone to chant any shlokas, if you are interested :)

I hope what I've shared here was of use to your understanding. Please share your comments here too :)

My attempt after a long time :)

2009-10-30T02:01:00.001+08:00

I love this song so so much! Finally I get to sing it :) Hope you like it....

Song: Pudhu Vellai Mazhai
Movie: Roja

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eSnips Social DNA

Trust me...

2009-10-29T14:20:00.002+08:00

It's amazing how people have different sides to their faces. I've never truly realized it. But now to think through it, I think people would be surprised or shocked to know some of my other faces! ;)

It is natural that people have certain tendencies at certain times. Everyone has their dark sides, be it their laziness, their aggressive nature, stupid stress-relieving methods, moodiness, etc. Nobody is perfect. Like for example, nobody knows me to have ever been grumpy and moody at times, but my friends never get to see such a side of me, maybe only my family members. Even if I am grumpy or moody I would not show it to my friends.

But we can only be truly ourselves with someone who we truly feel comfortable with. Sometimes we only show our true colours in front of our enemies, if we have any. Maybe our enemy knows us better than our loved ones!

What am I trying to say from all my ramblings? Its just that, no matter what our friends/loved ones have done in their past due to their "certain tendencies", does not matter when they finally share it with us. It shows that they trust us with their "dark side" being revealed to us. That is all that matters. Judging people based on what they have done in the past doesn't always work. Sometimes we have to have the courage to put forth our trust into them.

I've come to the point where I can take in any shock people throw at me. Or maybe not entirely. Let's wait for what's in store for me in life. ;)

Thanks!

2009-10-25T13:47:00.004+08:00

Thanks for making me feel miserable again.

Thanks for hurting me so much.

Thanks to you for making me realize never to trust anyone ever again.

Thanks to you for making me emotionally stronger.

Thanks to you for talking bad about me behind my back and making me feel guilty for having ever cared for you so much.

I am so indebted to you for many things you've done to me.

Thanks for everything!

Long time no see my blog!

2009-10-24T09:40:00.003+08:00

Its been such a long long time since I've written anything in my blog. And now it is simply too late, because there are so many things to write! So many overwhelming emotions bubbling inside of me. And I do want to let it all out... But what to say in a public blog? What can I say? My parents are already monitoring me, kinda... Haha.

But I would say this... I'm very happy at this moment in my life. I have really great friends, with whom I can share anything without any inhibitions. Developing friendships with some new people has given me a different outlook in life. Emotions previously suppressed are let free. So I feel happy :)

I know this happiness wouldn't last for long. But that doesn't and shouldn't stop anyone from enjoying the moment that is present right now. Happiness, sadness, anger, depression, anxiety, all won't last forever. Ultimately, I have nothing to be unhappy about because I have a loving family, a healthy body, studying very well, happy with my friends. What else more do I want? :)

Just some thoughts running in my mind and hope things turn out well... :)

Beautiful philosophies and ideals explained through images of Gods

2009-07-12T23:28:00.019+08:00

People have always looked up to someone in their life to follow in their footsteps. It can be their own parents, one of the relatives who are close to them, or friends. It can be anyone. But very few people look up to God as their source of inspiration and role-model! Because according to us, God is very high up there, with whom we cannot compare ourselves with. He/She is someone whom we run to only when we face troubles in our life. So we rarely remember God all the time.

Hindus have millions of Gods, or so we claim. It is always confusing to the youths when they see people putting in so much faith in so many Hindu Gods, and that too at the same time. Each and everyone of us have different "favourite" God (Ishta Devata). Where did all these God characters like Shiva, Vishnu, Ganesha, Muruga, Durga, Kali all come from? From our scriptures of course.

Rig, Yajur, Sama, Atharva Vedas - Mention of 44 Vedic Gods such as Agni, Vayu, Varuna, etc.
Agamas - Mention of Mahadevas and Mahadevis under three main sects: Shaiva, Vaishnava, Shakta
Puranas - Mention of Devas and Devis such as Ganesha, Muruga, etc... Devas are also Gods with specific functions/duties, but Mahadeva/devi is the supreme to them.

So it is in the Puranas and the Agamas which have the mention of these Gods we know about. Their stories are extensively described in our Puranas. So, why were they created? I mean, they don't really exist, as they are only representations of God, but in various different forms. But think about it, why would our Rishis waste their time sitting around and creating these images, if not to teach us some important values through them?

As the saying goes, Hindus don't pray to idols, they pray to the ideals that the idols represent. Similarly each idol in the Temple we worship has an ideal to it, and many people are ignorant about it. Once they become aware of why one prays to Kali, for example, their prayer becomes meaningful.

Ganesha - Remover of obstacles, giver of knowledge.
Rope and axe in both hands - He is the one who binds us to sense-objects and He is also the one who detaches us from the sense-objects. He gives us this experience to remind us that attachment to sense-objects (something that binds you emotionally to a thing) gives us only misery.

Lots of sweets (modaka) - The sweets represent knowledge. Knowledge is sweet and gives you happiness, as it removes your ignorance. When the darkness in your mind is removed, you will not fear anything, and so you will be in peace. Peace = happiness.

Mouse eating sweet - The mouse represents the human mind, something which doesn't remain in one place. Just like our thoughts, which keep moving and never stopping in one place. But the mouse, in the presence of the God, remains in one place, still. Not only that, we also see it here as eating the sweet, meaning consuming knowledge given by God.

Durga - Slayer of the negativities in us, and granter of wishes.
So many weapons in her hands - She multitasks!! Seriously, this is something only God is capable of doing. Though she is in a killing spree, look at her face. She is always calm and cool. She has taught me many things in life. During times of stress, I just remember Her and pray to Her, and I will forget all my stress for a while and move on. She does so many things at one time, and yet she never looks tired but looks calm. She is my inspiration!

Buffalo (Mahishasuran) - Represents laziness, animal quality in man. She slays this demon, and this represents that by praying to Her, we are asking for Her grace to remove the negativities in our minds.

Lion (vehicle) - So many Gods have animals as their "vehicles". A vehicle is something that is in our control. Similarly, the lion itself is in Her control! She is not scared of the lion, but she controls it!

Kali - Goddess of Time, and Slayer of the negativities. She is a very fierce Goddess, but I personally like Her very much. Anyone, who sincerely prays to her, She will grant them their wishes. Also a God who is controversially involved in black magic as well, which I will come to later.
Kali (very fierce) - The word "kali" means time. Kali appears fierce because time doesn't stop for anyone. Most of us, or maybe all of us, hope that we could turn back time and correct all our mistakes. But it doesn't happen! As such, she is fierce like time. Time just keeps moving on, not stopping for anyone. Not even for God!

Decapitated heads in her hands - The head represents the ego. Our ego has to be surrendered to the Mother Divine, if not She will take it by force! Only by surrendering our ego will we be able to experience the Truth. It is our ego that gives us the sense of "I-ness", "I am the do-er", the sense of ownership. It is our ego that gives us both pleasure and pain. Surrendering the ego is our only way to attain eternal bliss. This statement is something that is not easily comprehensible by everyone. It has to be experienced to be understood very well.

So many weapons - Why does she appear to be so violent? Because that is how BAD our negativities are!!! She has to use all kinds of weapons to chase away the demons in us!! Just think about it! If you are in Her place, you will definitely need those weapons wouldn't you??

Kali and Shiva - While Kali represents the "changing" reality, Shiva represents the "changeless" reality. Let me explain more clearly: When you measure time, you take final time minus the initial time right? This shows that to measure time, a change has to take place! If no change takes place, then you cannot measure time!! The entire universe is constantly changing, and thus the existence of time. Another fact is that to measure change, you need to have a reference point, something which is changeless. Therefore, change is always measured with reference to something changeless, and this changing reality (Kali) is therefore dependent of the changeless reality (Shiva). That is why Kali is stepping on Shiva. This is the significance of the whole image.

Why is Kali sometimes used in black magic? - Whatever the tantric mantras produce are just energy. And energy is just energy by itself. It can be used for good and for bad, depending on us. So if it is used for bad, then it becomes black magic. Whereas, if the energy from the mantras chanted are used for good, then good results.

Murugan - A Beautiful Philosophy (Just like Him)
Depicted always with 2 consorts - Lord Muruga is always depicted with 2 consorts and they are not really His wives!!! This is the part where many don't really know why some Gods have more than one wife. First of all, they are not wives, they are consorts or forms of Shakti (energy). So what do they represent? Deivanai (Consort from the Heaven) represents Kriya (action). Valli (Consort from the Earth) represents Iccha (desire). Murugan has another Shakti with Him and that is His Vel (spear) which represents Jnana (Knowledge). Basically, to attain a goal, firstly you need desire for that goal, then you need to have the right knowledge to attain that goal, then finally you perform actions to attain that goal. That is the philosophy explained from the image. Also if you notice, Valli (who represents iccha/desire) was married by the Lord due to His desire for Her. Whereas Deivanai (who represents kriya/action) was married by the Lord as a "gift" for His good actions of eliminating the demons.

Vel (spear) - As said earlier, the Vel represents Jnana, knowledge. The breadth of the spear-head, the length of the spear and the sharpness of the spear all tells us that our knowledge should be broad-based, deep and sharp respectively.

After learning all this, I found myself to be more open in my views about Hinduism. Sure, there are many superstitions. But don't just be passive about them! Do something! Find out whether they are really true or not! Never stay with doubts in your mind! Hinduism is so much more meaningful than it really seems to be! My perception of Temples, prayers and all changed after learning even more than this!!

Visit http://www.nushindusociety.org/forum for more such learning experience!! :)

Atmashtakam

2009-07-09T19:00:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone! This is my first attempt of a beautiful devotional :) It has very beautiful meanings, written by the great Indian philosopher: Adi Shankaracharya!! I love this song very much. I truly hope my rendition is good... Although at some places I seem to have sore throat... At the middle of the song, my voice changes slightly due to the soreness, pls don't mind...

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Song: Atmashtakam
Singer: Priya
Written by: Adi Shankaracharya

Mano Budhya Ahankara Chithaa Ninaham,
Na Cha Srothra Jihwe Na Cha Graana Nethrer,
Na Cha Vyoma Bhoomir Na Thejo Na Vayu,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 1

Neither am I mind, nor intelligence,
Nor ego, nor thought,
Nor am I ears or the tongue or the nose or the eyes,
Nor am I earth or sky or air or the light,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Na Cha Praana Samgno Na Vai Pancha Vaayur,
Na Vaa Saptha Dhathur Na Va Pancha Kosa,
Na Vak Pani Padam Na Chopa Stha Payu,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 2

Neither am I the movement due to life,
Nor am I the five airs, nor am I the seven elements,
Nor am I the five internal organs,
Nor am I voice or hands or feet or other organs,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Na Me Dwesha Raghou Na Me Lobha Mohou,
Madho Naiva Me Naiva Matsarya Bhava,
Na Dharmo Na Cha Artha Na Kamo Na Moksha,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 3

I never do have enmity or friendship,
Neither do I have vigour nor feeling of competition,
Neither do I have assets, or money or passion or salvation,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Na Punyam Na Paapam Na Soukhyam Na Dukham,
Na Manthro Na Theertham Na Veda Na Yagna,
Aham Bhojanam Naiva Bhojyam Na Bhoktha,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 4

Never do I have good deeds or sins or pleasure or sorrow,
Neither do I have holy chants or holy water or holy books or fire sacrifice,
I am neither food or the consumer who consumes food,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Na Mruthyur Na Sankha Na Me Jathi Bhedha,
Pitha Naiva Me Naiva Matha Na Janma,
Na Bhandhur Na Mithram Gurur Naiva Sishya,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 5

I do not have death or doubts or distinction of caste,
I do not have either father or mother or even birth,
And I do not have relations or friends or teacher or students,
I am Shiva, I am Shiva, of nature knowledge and bliss

Aham Nirvi Kalpi Nirakara Roopi,
Vibhuthwascha Sarvathra Sarvendriyanaam,
Na Cha Sangatham Naiva Mukthir Na Meya
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham 6

I am immutable, I am without form, omnipresent on account of my all-pervasive
nature; I am not even associated or attached with my sense organs. I am not
salvation, nor the knowable; I am the very form of knowledge and bliss, I am Shiva, I
am Shiva.

Got my UROPS!

2009-06-18T00:02:00.002+08:00

Well, here goes my upcoming holidays... I guess I won't be having anymore holidays like I used to. I am both happy and sad. Happy because I won't be spending all day sitting at home and just slacking, just browsing the net and watching movies, reading books. Happy that I would be running around, busy with something rather than slacking at home. But also sad that I won't have time to spend with my family, or just slacking a little while at home... Slacking for a little while is ok, but its not when you only slack for the entire day!

I got my UROPS!! UROPS stands for Undergraduate Research Opportunity Programme in Science. I had approached Prof Kini Manjunatha a.k.a. Prof K. He called me down to his office and we sat down and talked. When he asked what I'm passionate about, I was just blabbering... I went blank! Thank God, I was atleast able to say something. But all turned out well, and he started explaining to me all about his lab research.

They are working on snake venoms! Interesting, because they have just come out with a drug using one of the toxins, modifying it a bit, to reduce blood pressure! Can you believe it? Amazingly, toxins can be of help to humans! I am really interested to get started and working on the toxins... I am just waiting for my camp to get over and so I can start working on my UROPS. Research work takes long time, so its better to start early. I still don't know what my project is gonna be, but I hope it would be interesting and that I will learn something worthwhile. Its all in God's hands to make it a success or a failure, while I put in all the efforts I can. I'm simply excited!

Aligning your thoughts, speech and actions...

2009-06-08T23:59:00.003+08:00

It is said that for a person, the most important of all things is his thoughts. It is one's thoughts that become one's words, and it is one's thoughts that also become one's actions. And one's actions determine his character and a lot more. As such, it is only logical to say that one with good thoughts is a good person who speaks good words and does good things; and that one with bad thoughts is a bad person who speaks and does bad things.

Logically, one can arrive at this decision. But by experience, you can confirm this truth. In my 22 years of existence, I have seen what has happened to good & bad people when they have moved on to afterlife. Such an experience and examples, right in front of me in my own extended family in India, has deepened my principle to always have good thoughts about oneself and others.

Sometimes you might think that what could possibly go wrong in my life if I think badly about someone else? Or if I curse someone else? But in whatever we think, say or do, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Newton's third law has already been thought out and explained in our dharma shastras (it is difficult to give a direct translation, as the words mean a lot more than intended, but I'll call it moral scriptures of the Hindus). The concept of karma is now accepted and regarded as logical by many people today. The common phrase they like to use is, "what goes around, comes around." Or they will say, "what you sow is what you reap."

Taking examples from my own family, the people I know closely either directly or indirectly from what my parents discuss, this truth is proven again and again. I had a great grandmother who had just passed away a year ago. My mum said about some horrible things she did, that didn't keep the people around her happy at all. She had hurt many people by her words and actions. Later she reformed her ways, but she was tossed around from one home to another as none of her sons wanted to keep her in their homes for long. She lived a long life, but for a year before she passed away, she was in a lot of pain and couldn't wait to put it to an end.

My great grandmother on the other side, who is still living but a little sick, is someone who is grumpy, always nagging and such an irritating person. She is the kind of person with whom you can never be comfortable having around. But she doesn't wish anyone any bad. She does not curse others or harm others in any way. You know how old people get grumpy and feel insecure as they age? That is how she is like. But never thinking bad about others. And look at her now. She has a good house, people are there to take care of her, she gets her monthly allowance and a devoted son (my dad) who takes care of her and provides for her.

My grandmother, on the other hand, is a living example of what will happen if one has bad thoughts. She is in such a financial mess right now, and also not being able to discriminate what is right and what is wrong, who is jealous of her own daughter-in-law and maybe also jealous of her own daughter (my mum)! I believe that someone who curses and thinks bad of another person, is never really inflicting that curse on that person but to oneself!

Its a simple rule: You do good, people will do good to you! And believe it or not, you think good, you will speak good, and you will do good. So it all lies in the way you think. Train yourself to think positively, that no matter who the person is, just think good about that person and nver bad. Your life will transform right before your eyes! It is very difficult to be honest, especially to yourself. But a honest person is one whose thoughts, speech and actions are aligned in the same plane. Otherwise he is a hypocrite.

Results... Semester 2, 08/09

2009-06-02T22:29:00.003+08:00

I'm quite surprised with my results this semester. Usually I would be getting at most a C+, pulling down my CAP, and my core modules would usually get the worst grades ever! But this time around, due to extra efforts I put in, my CAP improved! God, am I glad or what!! Here it is:

LSM2103	Cell Biology	B+
LSM2104	Essential Bioinformatics & Biocomputing	B
SN1101E	South Asia: People, Culture & Development	A-
SN2271	Religion and Society in South Asia	B
ST2238	Introductory Biostatistics	B-

Not bad for Cell Bio, considering I didn't do so well for my 2nd test, I got atleast a B+. I was expecting an A- as the exam was quite okay. I guess many people did quite okay for the exam and the bell curve got shifted to the right a bit. As for Bioinfo, I am so so glad for getting a B!! The exam was tough! Open book exams are always difficult to handle. I guess it would be alright now to take the 3rd year Bioinfo module, or not! Biostats is the worst... I expected a B for it and got a B- instead :( But I guess its justified, considering the high number of marks I lost for the final exam. I was so worried, and B- is certainly better than a C!!

I'm doing a South Asian Studies Minor... Last semester I took Tamil Studies I, and for this semester, I took the compulsory South Asia: People, Culture and Devt module, and a module about Religion in South Asia. Not bad grades, and I'm only too happy for my compulsory module, considering I'm a science student. The B for the Religion module is understandable, considering I lost a solid 20 marks for the final exam, due to my complacency. I promise to myself that I will never be over-confident about any module again, just because I think I know about it better.

I'm really happy and also worried. Happy because my CAP improved and that means my confidence in myself has gone up. I am only 0.15 points away from qualifying for Honours, and this means I have to work much much harder next semester, getting all B+ and above! This is what worries me. Sigh... Well, it does not matter to me whether I do Honours or not, but what I want is to graduate with a good set of grades and CCA Records. Best case scenario would be to get an Honours, and continue on with a PhD. But not-so-worst case scenario would be me not being able to qualify for Honours, graduating with a Third Class, pass with merit, struggling to apply for Masters... So no matter whether I do Honours or not, I want to graduate with atleast an 2nd Lower, meaning above CAP 3.5...

Where I end up... the results are all in God's hands. I will just do my best and give my best in everything. We'll see...

Humans!

2009-03-24T19:34:00.005+08:00

Just for the past few weeks or a month, I've been noticing and hearing about men with horribly-gone-wrong minds! Neither will I side with the women and say that they have not gone wrong anywhere. But I should say that men are a lot worse than woman when it comes to thinking and/or doing "dirty".

Just few days back there were two cases of men (one Indian and one Chinese, this shows that even race, religion, ethnicity doesn't make a difference!!) displaying/exposing their private parts to women in a park! This came out in the news and it is now under police investigation. Evident enough that this is not a simple matter to just ignore and leave. What guts does it take a man to expose his private parts to a woman in the public and that too in broad daylight?! That person can only be a mentally-disturbed psycho person! What prompts him to do such an idiotic act? Do the guys ever know how hurting this is to the girls? It is really a traumatic experience for the girls and it would take atleast a day or two just to overcome the shock of it, if it were for the first time for a girl! It is really mentally disturbing for the girls, and guys never realise this!

A recent case of the Austrian guy who had 7 kids with his own biological daughter just confirms the extent of abnormality of the minds of the men!! Gosh! Simply unbelievable, shocking news it was! Again, what prompts these kind of guys to commit such hideous crimes?!

Every thought, word and action counts and makes a huge difference to one's character and disposition. If your actions are good (charity) but your intention behind those actions are bad (to show-off), then does it make a difference? All our lives we are being hypocrites. We're thinking one thing, but doing something else. Guys talk/act very well in front of their women friends/colleagues but who knows what "dirty" thoughts are running in their minds? Let's not be hypocrites please!

You can argue, that for such thoughts to arise in our minds, its only natural. Just because it is natural doesn't mean that it should be let to run as it likes. If our intellect doesn't have control over the whims of our minds, then who will? And by control, I don't mean to say that one should resist one's desires or thoughts. By control, I mean not to have such desires or thoughts unnecessarily and abnormally. Don't let your mind run awry!

Don't forget your morality! Just a few weeks back, I had an argument with two of my friends regarding an issue: pre-marital sex. One of my friends was saying that it is alright to have pre-marital sex as long as both the parties are truly in love with each other, trust each other and that both know where they are heading. The other friend didn't exactly argue, but he agreed with me that it not morally correct to have pre-marital sex. I'm really glad to have met such a person who argues that way, because I'm sure not many guys think that way!

Why do I say it is not moral to have pre-marital sex? Firstly, our scriptures say so. I am very much a person who abides/aspires to abide by the rules of morality put forth by our Shrutis and Smritis (to a lesser extent). It is true that I am not knowledgeable by what is written in the Vedas. Therefore, I cannot quote any verses from there. But I can definitely, by logical explanation, come to the conclusion that pre-marital sex is wrong.

Many of us are blinded by our desires that we tend to forget the very basis of morality inherent in us. Yes, ours is the country which celebrated sex and even prompted Vatsyayana to write the Kamasutra. Its true. But who was the Kamasutra wrote for? It was written for married couples to fulfill one of their purposes in life (out of the four purposes: Dharma, Artha, Kama, Moksha). Seeking pleasures and entertainment is one of the goals in human lives. But the basis of that seeking should be Dharma. And Dharma tells you to follow Truthfulness, Non-violence, Non-stealing, Brahmacharyam (continence), Patience, Determination, Compassion, Simplicity, Moderate Eating and Purity (of thoughts, speech and action).

By having pre-marital sex, you are violating one or more of the above Dharma. Namely:
1. Truthfulness - because most probably the promise between the two would not be kept
2. Non-violence - because you will most probably end up in hurting each other emotionally
3. Brahmacharyam - this is pretty obvious
4. Compassion - whatsoever compassion you had is now all lost, as you didn't even think of those persons or even yourself who would be hurt by this action!
5. Purity - such an experience will remain in your mind forever, even if you move on and marry another person, you might feel guilty that you've been the cause of hurting someone or betraying your newly-wed

You can now ask, why should I control my sexual tendencies? Why should I be a brahmachari or brahmacharini, till the right time I step foot into the Grahastha Ashram (married life)? Such tendencies, if you notice, only give you momentary happiness/bliss. It is a distraction, nothing much. Before you know, you will be back to square one. You can channel that energy into something much useful rather than exploiting someone for your desires. Not only is the bliss momentary, but also it is a hurtful experience. No matter what justification you can give, saying that both the parties are very much in love and that both know what they are getting into, the hurt and distrust would be there for sure. We all seek security afterall, especially the women. Moreover, time will change everything. People who were "very much in love with each other" once, can change with time. What will happen then?

Some people would argue, then is marriage a license, guaranteed to contain the joys of a physical relationship?! I will give you a resounding NO! Who asked you to marry so that you can have a sexual relationship? One should marry because one loves the person very much and wants to spend the rest of the life with her/him. It is a basic respect you show for the other person, and you are only tainting this relationship if you have pre-marital sex. You are disrespecting your partner.

I'm not writing this post to stop all those guys out there from achieving their hideous, mis-directed desires. You are not obliged to pay attention to my personal ranting through this post and uphold Dharma. You can go ahead destroy Dharma, because you are in the Kali Yuga. Dharma is already going down in the drains, anyway. My post is not powerful enough to stop all those dirty-minded men out there. Who is to stop them, if they are meant to be that way? Maybe they will, if God Himself comes and tells them all this? Then what?

If we are good persons, just so that we will not go to Hell, then we are an awful sorry lot indeed!!!

Note: My post title was initially "Men!" but I changed it to "Humans!" This is because, I felt that I am being unfair to all the GOOD guys out there if I were to only address the men. This post is equally (or maybe less?) applicable to any guilty female as well, who harbors such "dirty" thoughts in their minds.

...

2009-03-09T15:09:00.001+08:00

MESSAGE OF LORD McCAULEY:

Thursday, 08 May 2008,

EVERY INDIAN SHOULD KNOW THIS MESSAGE OF LORD McCAULEY
Lord McCauley’s speech in British Parliament on 2nd February, 1835 for converting India to a land suitable for them to rule and make Indians the British slaves : “I have traveled the length and breadth of India and there I have not seen one person who is a beggar, who is a thief. Such wealth I have seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such caliber, that I do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage and, therefore, I propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for if the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own, they will lose their self esteem, their native culture and they will become what we want them, a truly dominated nation”

The World's Greatest Misconception

2009-03-01T14:13:00.004+08:00

Hey guys!

Take a look at the video below. This is what is happening to our fellow Hindus who have lost their Shraddha (faith) in our way of life and have reverted to Christianity (or Islam). God bless their souls! I have nothing against converting to other religions, but I have so MUCH against converting because of our own ignorance of our Sanatana Dharma! My commentary for the video below is only until 3:42 minutes, as I don't care about what he says on Christianity.

"importance of scriptures, work out our own salvation, so that we won't go back to the cycle of birth and re-birth (samsara)" - This was the advice given to him by his dad who was a priest. Let me dispel this World's Greatest Misconception in Hinduism:

Moksha (liberation, salvation or realisation of the true Self as God) is NOT THE ONLY GOAL for all Hindus!!!

Moksha is ultimately our goal. But it is not the only goal! Listen to me friends. If someone comes and tells you that you should do yoga or meditation or fasting to attain God, think about it! Is moksha what you really want? This person's dad has adviced him, when he was only 8, to go read these books so that he can escape samsara (bondage). Don't be an escapist! That 8 year old fella has not even lived his life fully yet, and his dad is asking him to do penances to attain moksha! My God! Please save these people!!

"fasting, meditation, mortification of the body, penance, rituals to attain salvation" - Imagine an 8-year-old kid doing all this in his quest for salvation?! Seriously, who told you that if you do all this, you will attain moksha?! I can prove to you that doing yoga WILL NOT give you moksha! You need KNOWLEDGE to attain moksha! There is a very BIG difference between doing these penances without knowledge and doing these penances with knowledge!

"how to get moksha: book to read, went to building top to meditate to escape samsara, to be with the creator" - Hahaha... I can only laugh! Seriously!

"I was indulged in the pleasures of the word", "guilt and pain to live a life of hypocrisy", "seeking for something that would release him from the power of guilt", "still in bondage, lust, anger, life of hypocrisy" - Great! This is what is happening to most of the ignorant beings in this world! Every Swami is preaching us to renounce happiness and do all the difficult things like yoga to attain moksha! These ignorant beings (I was also once like these people), never realise the BEAUTY OF SANATANA DHARMA!! We are all alpa janmas (limited beings) and as such ignorant of all such beautiful things... I'll explain to you in a while what the beauty of Hinduism is...

"what is life after death? chance of eternity?", "lost faith in attaining salvation in Hinduism" - You were ignorant! And now you are blaming Hinduism?! Sigh... I don't blame you as well. You are only misguided by all those who were misguided... The blind leading the blind...

THE BEAUTY OF HINDUISM:
Sanatana Dharma says that humans have 4 goals... Artha (basic securities and wealth), Kama (pleasures, entertainment), Dharma (ethics, code of conduct in life) and then Moksha (the magic word). I colour-coded Moksha differently because lets leave it for a while and look at the other three first, shall we?

Artha and Kama is the common goal of ALL human beings (including animals in some instances) regardless of race, religion, language, creed, nationality, etc. You agree with me? Because we all need shelter, water, food, money, and some pleasures in life. We need a bed to sleep on, but once we've fulfilled the first goal of Artha, we can then move on to getting a water bed for our pleasure ;P So where in Hinduism, tell me, does it say that you can't have pleasure?! When some alpa janma comes and tells you to "renounce happiness, be neutral, be even-minded, etc." it is NOT meant for YOU!! Don't listen to them. You are happy with your life right now, then just BE HAPPY! BE SATISFIED! Why are you making yourself feel guilty with all this talk about renouncing happiness, when Hinduism tells you to be happy?! This is the BEAUTY of Hinduism I've been talking about...

Why is Dharma one of our human goals? As I said before, artha and kama are common goals to BOTH humans and animals! What then, differentiates us from animals? The very fact that we can make a CHOICE! Dharma is our guiding principle that helps us to pursue artha and kama in the RIGHT way. So WE NEED DHARMA!

So now we come to the fourth goal: moksha. One thing you have to be very clear: Moksha is for those who SINCERELY SEEK for it! That is why I colour-coded it differently. If you do not seek it, you will not attain it! This is the BEAUTY of Hinduism. If you are happy settling for a normal life and want to enjoy this life, GO AHEAD and DO IT! Why look at Moksha, when now itself you are happy with your life AS IT IS?! Please don't make this mistake... I'm writing this post to those who have this very big misconception embedded in their minds!

Let me tell you something! Just by following Dharma and assimilating it in your life, just by doing your duty, you would come to realise (in this birth or the next coming births) the limitations in living a life with artha and kama as your pursuits! That is when you will realise that your True and Ultimate goal is Moksha! Until you realise this, be calm and just do your duty. Bhagavad Gita's main point is also this: Do you duty!

This should be the joke of the year!! MUST WATCH!

2009-02-27T00:17:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F5kYWceTsI

14th Feb...

2009-02-15T23:54:00.002+08:00

Wow... Its been a long day! I felt that this day was my most useful day in my life. You must be thinking I'm going to talk about my Valentine's Day right? Haha. NO! In fact, I don't really celebrate, or would never even dream of celebrating something like a Valentine's Day! Come on! Why must they have a separate day for love, when it can be present anywhere, anytime?! Nevermind!

I was going to talk about this day, because from the morning at 9am till 9pm, I was constantly exposed to Hinduism, and nothing but Hinduism! We had a Lit & Lead Leadership course for our HS members and God! It was simply amazing to see the transformation take place right in front of your eyes. Kathir did a wonderful job and I actually felt a great sense of satisfaction after the workshop ended, which was around 1pm. It was simply a great unforgettable event for me in HS!

It all started with a idea that sparked in my mind back in November last year. I am really thankful to God for making my vision come true! At least one person would have benefited and his/her life changed for the best as a result of this workshop! That's more than enough for me. So after this workshop, Kathir, Susanth and I took a cab to Hindu Centre for our Hinduism class. On our way, we were so hyper and talking all along the way about the workshop and how it has turned out.

Again, the Hinduism class was a wonderful session. Later at 6, Susanth and I had dinner in Madhan's. We didn't have lunch at all, so had an early dinner at least. All the while during the dinner, Susanth and I were ranting to each other how the rest of those who missed the course lost something valuable! Its such an irritating thing! When people promise that they would come, and then they don't turn up without informing us, its just frustrating. I mean, think about those who make the effort and turn up for the event! What's up with these guys? They want CCA points, but just showing face doesn't work here! Susanth was so irritated, that all he wanted to do was sack the people, dissolve the HS committee and just move on with our lives! I guess that wouldn't happen at all, but he was that frustrated and disappointed with these people. He sent a one-liner message to everyone the next day: "I am utterly disappointed! Thanks a lot guys!"

After our dinner, we attended a talk on Kumbhabhishegam (Temple Consecrecation Ceremony). It was a very informative talk and I really gained a lot of insight from it. I finally understood the need to go to Temples and how is it that they all say that God resides in Temples! It was something marvellous, my eyes was opened during the talk! I now appreciate Temple Worship a lot and understand why this is still very much prevalent today.

I don't think Kalki has to come to save this world and the religion. If we do our part to keep Hinduism alive, we are all Kalki avatars!

The Sad Plight...

2009-02-07T22:54:00.002+08:00

Something very beautiful and dear to all of us is slowly slipping away from our hands. We are just passively sitting in our own comfort zones and observing our very own traditions slipping away and facing the danger of totally being wiped out from this world. You might be wondering what I'm talking about...

Today I saw my old friend who was my school mate in my secondary school. She has started working after her Diploma and it had been quite long since I've seen her, so we were talking for a while. It was then when she told me that she has been studying the bible. I had asked her if she was going for Thaipusam and she gave me this answer. She told me that she is finding all her answers in the book and it all seems to "fit in", with some truth in it.

When she was telling me all that, it was like I was seeing myself a few years back. I had once been very into the bible and liked reading it. I guess I had a particular attraction towards Christianity and their so-called culture. But later on, other books influenced my thoughts and I strayed away into the paths of atheism. Later on my life slowly started to set in the right path and I began learning about Hinduism. Now I am very much into my tradition, into my Hinduism. I don't know how I reached there. It was rather like Hinduism found me! I must have done something good in my previous life to have been put in the right track again. I am so glad that I am given the opportunity to learn more about my tradition and religion and pave my path towards knowledge and maybe even ultimately moksha (liberation).

Many are like my friend, slowly taking Hinduism for granted and showing their interests in other religions. Maybe they find it easier to access the bible and easier to understand the religion. Because Christianity is nothing but full of beliefs that cannot be proven in this world! Its easier to believe in them than learning any logical explanations for concepts like Karma, Dharma, Artha, Kama, Moksha and Ishwara. It makes their lives easier I guess. But one thing is for sure! They are ignorant about their own religion; Hinduism! If not, they would never even look at other religions' teachings! If one knows about Hinduism as much as I know at this stage of my life, they would not be attracted to any other religion because the answers for ALL their questions can be found in Hinduism itself and even MORE! What more do you need?! Hinduism is the only religion in the world in which there is existential proof for things like Karma, Moksha, and reincarnation!

Sigh... I'm not even worried about them converting into other religions. I'm more worried about what'll happen to the beautiful gift (Sanatana Dharma) given to all of us, after a few generations? What worries me most is that people born in the tradition are not appreciating the tradition! All the Vedic Brahmanas who are supposed to be teaching the Vedas to us are mostly software engineers now! Though the priests still exist, they don't teach! Only way we can revive Hinduism back to its traditional Sanatana Dharmic roots is by educating others about our own religion. That is what I am going to do and that is why I'm preparing myself for it now by taking this General Teaching Course in Hinduism (2 1/2 years course, leading to a Diploma in Hinduism Studies).

Annul Maelae

2009-01-27T13:56:00.003+08:00

I love this song very much and I've been just dying to sing this song! Unfortunately I couldn't find any karaoke for this song, nor make my own. So I just sang it. Hopefully you guys would like it.

Song: Annul Maelae
Movie: Varanam Aayiram
Singer: Sudha Raghunathan

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December Update...

2009-01-01T18:35:00.007+08:00

My India trip was looooooonnng and good! Most of the things I experienced were satisfying except for a few moments here and there. This time around, since it was December time, the climate was bearable and the heat was almost non-existent till I reached Chennai two days before leaving to Singapore. This was how my trip for arranged:

7th-9th Dec: Coimbatore
10th-14th Dec: Salem, my hometown
15th-17th Dec: Temple tour to Madurai, Thanjavur, Karaikkal, Thiruvannamalai
18th-21st Dec: Salem, my hometown
22nd-24th Dec: Tirupathi, Chennai
25th Dec: Singapore, back home :)

Let's deal with the timeline now. In Coimbatore, what we basically did was shopping. We also visited the two famous Temples there, Marudhamalai and Perur Temples. In Marudhamalai, I wasn't able to do much but I got to enjoy the scenery. My prayers were answered there immediately and I got to buy some books in one of the shops they had there. All famous Temples seem to have all kinds of merchandise shops there nowadays. Its good in one way, but I feel the Temples have only become more and more commercialised. Perur was an exceptionally beautiful Temple, although its not as big as Madurai Meenakshi Amman's or Thiruvannamalai Temple. We also visited Thyanalingam Ashramam, which was such a serene and calm place.

Staying in Salem was alright, although most of the times I was bored with the stay. All my cousins are grown-up and have their own lives to lead now. I was mostly spending my time with books, tv, talking to my relatives and going out with my mum for shopping and such. Keerthi, my nephew, would be the only one to whom I would be talking to, mostly at nights.

We left to Madurai on the 15th Dec. After finding a lodge to stay, we got ready and visited Thiruparanguntram first. I don't know how, but without expecting I always get to visit my Murugan first. I was really happy to go to one of the Aarupadai Veedus. As expected, the visit to the Temple was also satisfying. The Temple had powerful vibrations and I had never felt such vibes before in my life. At one point, I forgot myself. Temple visits should be done alone I suppose, because the only thing disturbing my connecting with the divine was my family and the crowd pushing us in the queue.

After that, we went to Madurai Meenakshi Amman Temple. We didn't expect the security to be so tight. No cars were allowed to go in near the Rajagopurams. So we had to walk barefoot from the car to the Temple, quite a distance. I didn't feel much of vibes as I felt in Thiruparanguntram. But I did enjoy the grandeur of the Temple, especially the night effect was good. As is my custom, I always get the blessings of Ganesha, who is always there near the Temple entrance or inside the Temple. I would put a coin in His trunk and He would pat my head as a blessing. I love the Temple elephant and always get a feeling that the elephant keeps following me everywhere.

The next day we went to Thanjavur as I was asking my dad that I wanted to visit the Periya Koyil there for so long. I loved the Temple!! It was so huge and not only that, the Temple architecture was so grandeur!!! One whole day is not enough to look around that Temple as there are so many things to observe and admire. I just loved this Temple. All the stones there also had so many carvings. This shows how old the Temple is actually!! Do take a look at my Orkut picture album Tanjore Marvel to admire the beauty. I would have taken more pics, but I didn't get to spend much time there in the Temple. There are so many architectural marvels about this Temple which can be glimpsed here.

The same day we also visited Thirunallaar, which is a Saneeswaran (Saturn God) Temple. I am told that I have seven and a half years of Saturn influence in my astrology and as such it would be good for me to visit this Temple and seek the blessings of Lord Siva and the Saturn God. The same is the case for my parents and my sister. I am not much of a believer in astrology, but so far, most of the things said by my family astrologer has come true. But I still believe that fate can be won. So after this we went to Chidambaram and stayed there for the night.

The next day we visited Chidambaram Temple. I would say I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed Thiruvannamalai. Thousand pillars Temple is what they called big Temples like Madurai Meenakshi Amman Temple. It was a marvelous Temple.

After that we visited Thiruvannamalai as planned. I would say my favourite moment of the entire trip would be the time spent in this Temple. This is my favourite Temple and this is my third time visiting this Temple. The first two times I came here, I always had done well in my studies the following year. This is just a belief and I feel that this is somewhat true. Because the vibrations in the Temple are so powerful!! I have no words to describe the Temple. I just wish I know more about Temples.

This marks the end of our Temple tour. We returned to Salem to rest before we left to Tirupathi on the 22nd.

Tirupathi trip was very disappointing to my family and me. The trip was very poorly planned as there were a lot of things that was unexpected. It seemed like there was a VIP visit or something and because of that much of the things were delayed for us. As a result, we ended up waiting for 8 hours in the "free" queue for nothing. We didn't get tickets as they were for the next next day. We couldn't wait that long in Thirupathi as our flight was due! So we stood in the "free" queue. We waited for 8 hours in the cold night weather with basically nothing to cover ourselves with. So then we just left without seeing Mr Venki, the VIP God.

Since the beginning I was a bit reluctant in going to Tirupathi because of the commercialisation there. My parents put me off by saying that its not like that at all. In the end, what I said was the truth. First, you have to buy tickets to see the God. Now, I'm not saying that this is only here in Tirupathi. It is everywhere I agree. But not like in Tirupathi, you have to have a minister letter!! And not only that. You have to have a minister letter to stay in Tirupathi as well!! My goodness! Never have I seen or heard such things, but maybe it is common in India, I don't know. We didn't have time to wait for another day as well, otherwise we would have. The entire fault is with us to have not foreseen all this and to have poorly planned things. But they have the made the whole pilgrimage into a business!!

And after all that waiting we drove back to Chennai. I would have to admit, Chennai has become cleaner!! I am surprised. Singaara Chennai is living up to its name now. I got sick in Chennai itself. And it got worse after I came to Singapore. I went to the doctor the next day itself and got myself an injection. That serious! Now I'm writing this post after I've gotten well. Haha. So yeah... This is how my trip went for those who want to know ;)

On Hiatus.. ;P

2008-12-07T15:37:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone!! I won't be blogging for almost another month. I'm going to India!! =) Will upload a lot of pictures once I'm back on 25th Dec!!! =)

2 more to go

2008-11-26T17:43:00.002+08:00

Sigh... 2 more to go before I finally experience bliss. Had a paper yesterday and then one today. So this is how I found my core module paper, just so my peeps out there can get an idea of what to expect next term :)

LSM2101 Metabolism and Regulation:
Well, to say it in two words, it was a stupid paper!!! Argh... Metab module is all about memorising the pathways and spitting them out in the exam hall. At least that is what I thought. But, as I guessed, that was not the case. Luckily I had back-up plans and prepared myself with the tutorial questions, in case they ask application-based questions that have to do very little with the pathways. The don't ask you to describe pathways and such. They ask you the function of the pathway, the regulating step or the rate-limiting step of the pathway or ask a question like how the pH of the blood of a person undergoing low carbo high protein diet changes?!! What a stupid paper!

SN2275 Tamil Studies I:
This is a very good paper I would say. Simply because it is something very close to my heart: Tamil :) I recommend my friends, if they meet the pre-requisites of the module, to take this module. It is Tamil only, not some foreign language. And when you are taking it with your friends, its even better...

Well two more to go. One will be done tomorrow. That will be GEK1045 Intro to World Religions. And another one next Tues, LSM2102 Molecular Biology (a killer module).

Exam comes today goes tmr ya!

2008-11-24T14:20:00.003+08:00

Please please please... 8 days more to go!! For the end of my exams.. Sigh... Its so boring studying for exams... But its not so bad as last time, when I was cramming and stuyding for Biodiversity, Statistics and all.

Even though I took only 4 modules last semester, and had to sit for 3 papers only, I was really putting a lot of effort and all I got for a drop in my CAP. This time the prospects look better even when I'm taking 6 modules and have 4 papers to sit for.

25th Tue - Metabolism & Regulation
26th Wed - Tamil Studies I
27th Thurs - Introduction to World Religions
2nd Dec Tue - Molecular Biology

I had no exams for the other two modules I took, the experimental biochemistry and the SPS "experimental" module. Hoping to get atleast a B+ for both the modules, but not sure if my prospectives are that good. I'm hoping to get good grades in Tamil and World Religions modules at least. Not really sure of my core modules... Sigh.

To look back and ponder over, I have really learned a lot from this semester, both academically and personally. Academically, I've learned a lot about experimental techniques and how to manage my science projects well. Personally, I feel like my leadership abilities have been given a boost and my stress threshold has increased a 100-fold at least. I've still more to learn.

2008-11-20T19:53:00.002+08:00

மதுரை தமிழ் இலக்கிய மின்பதிப்புத் திட்டத்தைப் பற்றி கேள்விப் பத்திருக்கிறீர்களா? இந்த இணையத்தளத்தைப் பார்த்திருக்கிறீர்களா? இது ஒரு உலகலாவிய தமிழர்கள் இணையம்வழி ஒன்றுகூடி தமிழ் இலக்கியங்களின் மின்பதிப்புக்களை உருவாக்கி அவற்றை இணையம்வழி உலகெங்கிலும் உள்ள தமிழர்களும் தமிழார்வலர்களும் இலவசமாக பெற வசதிசெய்யும் திட்டமாகும்.

இணையத்தள முகவரி - http://pm.tamil.net/

இந்த இணையப்பக்கத்தில் நிறைய மின்பதிப்புகள் இருக்கின்றன. பாரதியார் கவிதைகள், கண்ணதாசனின் புத்தகங்கள், பெரிய புராணம், ஐம்பெரும் காப்பியங்கள், திருவாசகம், நாவல்கள், போன்றவை இருக்கின்றன. என்னுடய தமிழ் மொழியியல் பாடத்தில் இதை பற்றி தெரிந்து கொண்டேன்.

படித்து மகிழுங்கள் =)

You can do it!!!

2008-11-19T21:10:00.004+08:00

The motivational poster on my bedroom wall says this:

"If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you're right.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost.
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a person's will.
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself
Before you can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go to
the stronger or faster man,
but sooner or later the man who wins
is the man who thinks he can."

~ Author Unknown

I love you...

2008-11-18T22:59:00.005+08:00

I can't understand love! What kind of a feeling is love? Sometimes I simply don't understand how is it that people actually fall in love immediately at the first meeting itself!! That's what is happening in this movie called Varanam Aayiram.

Funny isn't it? Typical of a movie. Maybe I'm not "experienced" enough in this issue to actually comment on falling in love at first sight. But does such a thing actually exist?? Even if it does I don't think it can ever be true love.

Then this raises the question on what is "true love"? I'm not claiming that I have experienced true love to actually know what it is. But I simply know what it is like without even experiencing it. And I'm sure a lot of you out there also have an idea of what true love feels like. Showing affection and care for someone, without any expectations from them is true love according to me. Definitions might change, but the feeling remains the same. The moment when physical attraction comes into this kind of feeling you have for someone, then it is not true love anymore. It is romantic love, that comes along with a certain percentage of lust, and is not permanent. It won't stay. But the feelings of true love will never change. True love is also about accepting a person as he or she is. So even if the person changes, you would still care for him/her and want them to be always happy with whatever life they choose.

I'm a person who believes in true love. And I believe that if you truly and sincerely love someone, in the way I've described, then you would surely get what you wished for. But one must learn to remain neutral. No matter what the outcome is, one must learn to accept and move on.

Oh gosh!! I can't believe I'm writing all this here.. Haha.. I've become too serious. Must change my ways... Anyway, Surya has acted very well in Varanam Aayiram! Go watch it people!! And for my peeps, go watch it after your exams!!!! =)

SPS is over!!

2008-11-17T15:56:00.002+08:00

Gosh I can't believe it!!! SPS is finally over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

Haha.. I'm really happy and glad that from now on, I'm on my own in SPS. No more group work!! What a journey it had been! So much of work and effort put into a 4 MC module! Well, I'm glad its finally over..

Time to study... Seriously... 8 days to go before my first paper... Metabolism and Regulation =)

2008-11-13T19:39:00.003+08:00

ஆஹா! என்னால் இப்பொழுது தமிழிலும் எழுத முடிகிறதே! =) மிக்க மகிழ்ச்சி... இனிமேல் நான் கவிதைகளாக எழுதி தள்ளப்போகிறேன். =)

Yo yo yo... What's up?

2008-11-13T18:36:00.003+08:00

Oh gosh... I've done it again.. Left a long break right after my previous post. Sigh... What can I do? My time is such. I've been so busy these past few weeks/months. See, I'm not even sure when was my previous post! Haha... I want to give a new look for my blog once again. Some things in life have to be changed regularly. And there are also some things that shouldn't be changed. Lol... I've become so philosophical these days, and have gone so crazy. I'm spending too much time with myself, which I shouldn't be doing! Lol.

Anyway, some updates since I've last posted. Just checked when I last posted and it was in JULY!!!!!! Oh gosh... Haha. Anyway, I've gotten a "promotion" in HS as Vice-President =) =) Double smiley for that because I'm really happy I can stretch my abilities as a leader further. All thanks to Susanth and Viki for choosing and special thanks to Susanth for again taking up Presidency and guiding us through another year full of fun and learning.

Progress is SPS is also good and thank God its almost coming to an end with just a presentation left to do!! Sigh. What a load of work we had to do for SPS!! Nonetheless, it was a hell of an experience teaching me so many skills from report writing to lab work and presentation. Thank God I'm never gonna do any more research under a mentorship. Just hate it... I want to be left alone and I would love to do things individually. After SPS, I hate group work. Work never gets done in time when its group work... Sigh. I'm thanking God a million times that it is over and that it was good...

What else to say? There are loads of things that cannot be said in here. Only to the hears of my closest friends. Oh yeah! My family recently went to Delhi... And guess what??! They left me all alone here! =( Sigh... Some of my friends actually think it is such a good opportunity and that I ought to enjoy. But in fact I felt so lonely and sad. I really missed my family for the 5 nights they were away! I had to bunk in NUS for a day or two with sweet sweet Jayasri and then my dearest friend Kasturi gave me company the first night they went Delhi, so that I don't feel lonely. She overnighted at my house. Instead of studying for her stats test, we ended by watching Cheeni Kum and went to bed at 3am. Lol. Different experience but the wait was sweet. Everyone missed me back in Delhi and bought me so much clothes and stuff... Haha... Waiting in love, for love, to love... All is sweet =)

I don't have anything much to say actually. Its good I'm blogging and I really started this to keep it like an "autobiography" for me to look back and ponder over myself. My initial aim was to improve my English-writing skills. Haha. I wouldn't promise but I would try to maintain regularity in my blogging. Well, exams are gonna start next next week. So I have more time now, without school and all. Btw, just for info, I'm now in my second year 1st semester. Haha. More time to go in NUS. Student forever!!! =)

Completely Unexpected..

2008-07-23T02:58:00.002+08:00

Heya peeps!! Long time no blogging. Sigh.. What to do? Been so busy with stuff, and never even gave any thought to blogging. But today I felt like blogging because something unexpected happened!

You guys who have been regular readers of my blog would know that I had been a non-believer once. Well yes, its true. I have gone through the stage of life that probably most people would have gone through and now I've come out of it. I've reached a stage of maturity to think about God in a different way. And once I've attained this stage, I feel so much more closer to God than ever. Its like no matter how much I tried to distance away from God, He didn't want me to be distant away from Him. That's how I feel like in this instance. I want to be with Him as well :)

A few days back in Singapore, Thirupathi Mahotsavam took place. It was an event from Thurs 17th July to Sunday 20th July. I wasn't able to go and see Perumal for any of the days during which important events took place. Thursday He arrived to the Temple and on Saturday was His Thirukalyanam. I wasn't able to attend these events because 1) It will be very crowded and 2) I didn't want to go alone.

I was lamenting on it on Saturday while I was away with Sankar and Priya for publicity. My heart was all out there in Perumal Temple. I really wanted to go. Even that very night I went back home and was telling my parents that we should visit Thirupathi this time when we go to India.

And then guess what? Suddenly I get a call from Viki and she tells me they need people to help in Perumal Temple in the morning at 7.30am. I felt lazy at that time to wake up so early at 5.30am and so I said I cannot. Then later Sankar called me and asked me to come down. Then I said ok. In the morning I woke up and I was msging Sankar that I couldn't come. Again I was lazy. But something prevented me from msging him. So I didn't msg, I just left for the Temple..

And Thank God I did!! Because it was such a magical experience! I was given the opportunity to not only see Him and get his Dharshan. But also I got the Prasadam! It is of course, laddu made not in Tirupathi but in Singapore.. Hehe... Again then I felt that God wanted to keep me near Him, like I want to keep Him near me. This experience is exactly the same for Sankar.

Let me tell you about Sankar. He isn't the type who volunteers for Temple events like these. Usually he would be forced to get into such things. But on Saturday when he and Adai went down to the Perumal Temple to do publicity, they were stuck outside. Hindu Centre youth wing person Srinivas, brought them in and made them see the God. And someone who came along that way, got introduced to both Sankar and Adai, and asked them for volunteers to help them out on Sunday morning. Out of all the person (Susanth was already in the Temple for the 3 days), they have to ask Sankar! And Sankar ended up having a great experience as well. He and Susanth were escorting Him when Thirukalyanam was performed again on Sunday!!

All these are HIS plans! Nobody would have made this to happen. Random events colliding to give out a result. BUT there is definitely God's plans in all this. And I should definitely say that Sankar has earned a lot of good karma. Probably all of us who were present in the Temple for any of those 4 days did some good karma or have had good karma. The main reason why we ended up in that place during a Sunday, instead of in a shopping mall with my parents or bowling with my friends, should be my karma. Nothing else!

Sankar anna! Hope you read this.. Haha.. I hope I've done a long blog especially after a long hiatus! =) I'm not sure how often I'll post now.. But Seeya! =)

Heya peeps!!

2008-04-27T23:10:00.002+08:00

Wow... It's been such a long time since I've indulged myself in the art of blogging. Haha. Yes!! It has been a long long time in which I've never had the motivation nor the time to sit and blog peacefully, things that come in my mind. Whereas now I feel like doing it. I don't know why.

Well, now there is a gap of about 2-3 months in my life and I guess there is no need for any updates. I can finish it in a few words: I was very busy!! Haha. Well, what can I say? I've been real busy and even now I'm just blogging to relax and put my studies behind just for a few minutes. I'll be having my exams this week and the next week.

So after exams, I have three months break. But I'll still be busy!! Haha. I've got my science project to do, and my special semester module to do, and not to forget, HS work to do!! We have a big production coming soon in August, for which preparations will start during this three months break.

Well, things are looking pretty clear and I've gained much knowledge about life and people during these times while I wasn't able to blog and share them all with you. Haha. But this much is clear: It is very difficult to put in so much trust in someone, and at the end you don't receive back what you've given and what you expect. It has been painful for me to take such disappointments in life and all I've been doing in reaction to that is crying.

Like my good friend once adviced me, crying is an expensive price to pay and that anyone who makes me cry is not worth thinking about! I believe totally in this and I've changed myself. I don't trust and neither do I expect things from people anymore. I've decided to keep a distance with family, friends and working partners in my life, just so that I won't be hurt anymore. I just want to be happy and make others happy. As I had previously said, my ultimate goal and wish in life to be an inspiration to all around me. When people think of me, they should think positively and say "Look at how she is! I want to be like her, so that I too will be happy like her." I don't want envy or enmity from people and I'll avoid them as much as I can. I just want to help others as much as I can. People are just making it pretty hard for me by behaving dishonestly. Thus, I end up not trusting anyone. Sigh...

Another thing that had affected me was when all the efforts I put in a particular task go to waste!! That is the worst thing that can happen to a person. Eventhough the situation doesn't go out of your hands, the pain is still there right? I mean, you have put in so much of effort!! Youhave actually put it in front of all your other tasks like studies, projects, and etc. And you have stayed up late at night till 2 or 3 or 4am and did a lot of work. You had stayed back in school at night the whole week and have been going home late at around 12am everyday in the week. And the result you get is not what you expected!! But the thing is, I've learned that efforts put in don't go to waste anyway. He knows that I had put in the effort and even if I don't get the results I expect, He'll make sure I get the results in another way. Eventually, whatever the matter, I'll get a chance to learn my mistakes and won't repeat them again in my life.

Well, I've talked a lot for today. I don't know when I will be blogging again. But yeah, I guess it'll be after 6th May, that is the day of my last exam!! =)

Going on hiatus...

2008-01-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

The past few weeks have been a very busy week for me such that I have no time for blogging! But oh well, I've been enjoying myself with school and Hinduism work. For a few more weeks, I won't be updating this blog. The same goes with songs. But rest assured... I'll do more when I get the time =)

First Song in 2008

2008-01-01T00:58:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone! Haha. Once in a while I get the mood to sing some songs and for the new year I wanted to sing Katrin Mozhi. SO you can probably guess my mindset when new year was approaching. I sang this song in 2008! Not in 2007! ;P Hope you guys like it... Give me your honest comments.

Song name: Katrin Mozhi
Album: Mozhi
Original singer: Sujatha

powered by ODEO

Year 2007 and me...

2008-01-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

Ok. I was writing this post on 31st December 2007 at around 11pm. So now it should be 1st January 2008 when I posted it:) Therefore, this is my first post for the year 2008!

Last year has been really an enlightening year for me. I am not the same person now as I was at the start of last year. I have undergone a lot of changes. Although I am at a loss of whether they are good changes or bad ones. It depends on how my changes affect those around me I guess.

I've learnt a number of lessons last year, and I will share them here in my blog so that I will remember 2007 forever! I can never forget my dear 2007! This was the year, in which I worked an earned money first time in my life! Took a step in getting a driver's license! (Passed the theory tests but not started with practicals yet!) Got into NUS!! Went through a semester of fun and studying! Got my results! Yey, I'm happy that the last year is finally over and I am stepping into another year of more fun and adventures!!!

As I have said, I've learnt a few lessons for life in this year. Particularly important as I am growing up, and will soon be 21 this year. I've learned who to trust and who not to trust. I've learned that giving help and love only to those who deserve them, is better than giving it to all. I have been hurt by people who have misunderstood me and who have not shown thanks to me for the help I gave them. This molded me into a person who doesn't always trust a friend immediately and as someone who hates dishonesty to the core.

I've learned to give up and go with the flow. I used to hold onto things like as if they were dear life! Last year, I've learned to let go of them and just go with the flow. I've learned to keep on moving. Whenever I encountered a problem, I used to mull over it and keep thinking about it. But now I understand that mulling over and brooding over the past doesn't help solve the problem. One needs to move on and act fast, thinking of "what can be done next?".

I've been enlightened in a lot of issues the past year, and hope to learn more in 2008! Especially in the area of friendships and relationships. I'm clear and well-defined about what I want and where I stand in this matter. Hopefully there are no changes in my decision in the coming future. I've been enlightened about my viewpoints in certain matters. I became sceptical about the existence of God in the past year. My scepticism still holds on, but I strongly sense that there is a higher power above ourselves an beyond our control. I learned and I'm still learning more about myself when it comes to this issue. I hope studying and researching more on hinduism (or more accurately, Sanathana Dharma) helps me to find the Absolute Truth!

I've made a number of friends in the past year. Especially in the past year, I should say! Well, to list them out, they are: Jia Ying, Jeremy, Farah, Dominic, Mahi, Choon Peng, Jaya, Safiah, Jian Liang, Keerti Vasan (my nephew, but still a good friend to me!), Saravana Kumar, Susantharan, Vikneswari, Mathura, Subathra, Dave, Chanchal, Sandhya, Viknesh, Praveen Shamini, Priyadarsani, Arun and a few more. So many friends to name!! Most of my university friends are Indians. Kasturi and Kalpana are my best friends! But I woud say Kasturi is more than a best friend to me now. I would say a stage four friend!! Haha. I still need time to understand Kalpana better.

Last year, in 2007 that is, I met a vey unique person (one of the friends I've named in the paragraph above and some will know who I'm referring to). He is unique in the sense that I'll never meet another person like him again anywhere! Haha. I hope we become good friends in the future. I want to add on "or probably more than friends", but people always tend to mistake it for relationship, so I will not add that. I just wish we both will become great friends like what Kasturi and I are now. Well, what's the harm of naming him? Haha. I am speaking about none other than Susanth!

Remember the surprising I promised of telling you all in this post?? Well, it is just that I'm going to write a book! I'm not going to write it alone. But this is going to be a joint effort by me and Susanth! I wish we could achieve a lot by writing this book. Personally, I want to see the youths taking up this book and by the time they finish reading the book, their mindsets about our culture, basically hinduism, should be changed for good! They should feel proud and inspired to be born in our culture and follow it righteously. This is not a religious book. Rather it is going to be a book about hinduism, the kind we have never seen before. Hopefully, we get to publish the book and also our aims are achieved!

It seems I've already touched on some of the upcoming events for 2008 for me! Haha. Thinking, bainstorming and writing this book is one of the items in a long list of agenda definitely! Hmm... What more? Oh, there's a lot more! For 2008, my priority is going to be my education! Next will be Hindu Society! But my highest priority will always be my dearest family and dear friends! My focus this year will be to grow more on the inside and to hopefully achieve the goals I've set for myself. In my studies, I want to get a CAP closer to 4.0, compared to what I've got for this semester (3.4). The Bhagavad Gita. This is another goal I've set for myself. To read the the world's highly esteemed scripture and learn more about myself in the process. I hope one year is enough for this. Hehe.

As for my other goals, they are simply too elaborate to be put up here on my blog. They mostly relate to the book we're going to write, to hinduism, to Hindu Society (from here onwards, I shall refer to this as HS) and so on. So yeah, this is my first post for 2008. 2007 is gone, and 2008, here I come!!! ;P

Wishing you all a VERY PROSPEROUS HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR 2008. MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS COME TRUE IN THIS NEW YEAR!!

Ingenious music copy!

2007-12-24T16:00:00.000+08:00

If it is one thing I hate the most when it comes to music, it is music copied out of somewhere. When I first viewed the Billa trailer and heard the Billa theme music, I thought well, it was a genuine attempt by Yuvan in composing such a stylish music... Well. I don't agree with this anymore. Just compare the following two music.The first one is the Billa trailer music video... The second one is a similar music video of Martin Mystery...